Credit goes to People magazine for this terrific collection of celebrity quotes from the past week. As you can see, many topics are covered ...
"Angelina Jolie couldn't be here - it's hard to find 17 babysitters on Oscar night."
- Host Jon Stewart
- Johnny Depp, on what he was wearing to the Oscars
"It's fun trying to get pregnant."
- Gwen Stefani
"I don't know a lot about balls."
- Ellen DeGeneres, to Heidi Klum, during a cooking segment on her show
Like Zac Efron, neither of these couples is actually gay... or are they?
"You had to be painting toes and blow-drying hair."
- Ben Affleck, on teaming up with Jimmy Kimmel to spoof Sarah Silverman's video with Matt Damon
"You know when you go around to your aunty's and the little chihuahua gets on your leg because they think it's something else? That's my relationship with Ryan. It's like: Off!"
- Simon Cowell, on how he gets along with American Idol co-star (and celebrity gossip presidential primary candidate / partner) Ryan Seacrest
"My cheeks hurt, I'm so happy."
- Drew Barrymore, on beau Justin Long
"I like Barack. He's like a great boyfriend. He's a great talker. You wake up the next morning and you go: 'I don't know how I took my clothes off.'"
- Sherri Shepherd, on Barack Obama
"It's double the love, and it's also double the crying and the screaming."
- Diddy, father of twins, giving advice to Jennifer Lopez