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If you thought that F-list mainstays Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were going to torture you with bikini photos or rants against Lauren Conrad, well, you were so wrong!

Today, at least.

This morning on Ryan Seacrest’s KIIS-FM show, Heidi showed off her musical “talent” with a rendition of her debut single (yes, she’s working on an album), “Body Language.”

That’s bad enough, but it gets worse. Spencer Pratt grabbed the mic and showcased his hip-hop skillz, dropping some ill rhymes over the phat beats.

If you’re the masochistic type, or just really bored and in need of a laugh, you can subject yourself to a portion of their “performance” by CLICKING HERE.

Got my eyes on a sassy pearl… Heidi Montag, yeah, that’s my girl!

“Body Language” is produced by David Foster, a longtime music mogul who is – of course – now married to Brody Jenner‘s mother, Linda Thompson.

According to Heidi Montag, “Body Language” is dance and urban-inspired (she’s down like that, yo) and she hopes it’s played in clubs.

You know, maybe she’s onto something there… but only if said clubs want to get people the hell out the door after last call.