Megan Fox has been making the media rounds recently to promote Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and as usual, she's the living embodiment of quotable hotness.
Last week, we learned that Megan thinks Bigfoot is real. This week she's opening up about her sex life with husband Brian Austin Green.
Sadly for Brian, it seems bang sessions in the Fox-Green household are as seldom seen as the legendary Sasquatch.
"Brian doesn't get any intimacy whatsoever," Megan said in a recent interview.
For those of you who are blissfully unaware - Megan married Brian in 2010. The world's greatest minds have been unable to make sense of the pairing, and the leading theory is that Green possesses a magic unicorn penis, as well as the ability to plant money trees.
Fox got pregnant with the couple's first child shortly thereafter, and she and Green now have a pair of kids, both under the age of two.
Apparently, having two toddlers running around the house prevents Green from gettin' it in with Fox, which may be the world's first solid evidence that there's a just God in heaven.
So, why do we hate on BAG so much? Well, we don't really. It just seems unfair that one man gets all of this to himself: