Leonardo DiCaprio: Well Hung But Can't Last in Bed, Former Lover Reports

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The treasure trove that is the latest issue of Star magazine keeps providing us with glittering gossip gems about the awkward love lives of A-list celebs.

First, we learned Taylor Swift talks about her cats on dates. (Gold!)

Then we found out Ryan Gosling cries after sex. (Platinum!)

Now comes the Hope diamond of embarrassing celebrity bedroom revelations:

DiCaprio Pic

It turns out Leonardo DiCaprio used to get it in with model and "actress" Bobbie Brown, the woman best known for her work in the iconic video for Warrant's 1990 hit "Cherry Pie."

When her fame was declining and Leo's was on the rise, Brown offered the actor her still-coveted pastry on several occasions, only to find that he couldn't cut it.

Brown describes the end of one of their short-lived encounters thusly: "[He said], 'Wait a second! Don't move, Bobbie. We need to slow down.' But it was too late."

According to the tabloid's description, "Leo couldn't even last as long as one of his movie trailers." But Brown says there was a big upside:

"He was... titanic," says Bobbie, no doubt giggling at her own outdated penis pun.

So there you have it. We now know that Leonardo DiCaprio is fat and something of a two-pump chump in the sack. Even so, if you're reading this and you have a vagina, you know you totally would. 

Toni Garnn and Leonardo DiCaprio
Toni Garnn and Leonardo DiCaprio. They've reportedly been dating for almost a year.

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I totally believe every word printed in the Star. LMAO.

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We know that he has put on weight because he is playing Hugh Glass (Google his pic) in the movie The Revenant. we also know that gossip does not equate fact. Just because this woman claims to have slept with DiCaprio does not mean that she has. After all, she is selling a book.

Leonardo DiCaprio Quotes

I thought I'd be a marine biologist, because nature and evolution fascinated me... We're all after love, aren't we? Love is what people are hungry for. That's absolutely why I became an actor.

Leonardi DiCaprio

I hope I never get cynical. I think you need youthful energy, excitement, and optimism in life. There is a lot I want to do, and the more cynical you become, the more you sit on your butt and do nothing.

Leonardo DiCaprio