Duck Dynasty Season 4 kicked off Wednesday night, and reminded us immediately why it may be the best family sitcom slash reality show on TV.
With its lovable, authentic-seeming and colorful characters and its droll, deadpan style, DD and the Robertsons have become entertainment royalty.
Last night did nothing to chance that, as the surprisingly wry, witty family who finds humor in the most ordinary moments did so again in spades.
The occasion for the opener? The sons’ wives deciding to give Phil and Kay a wedding present for their 49th anniversary that they couldn't afford back then:
The wives organize, the guys groan and complain, etc. It's been done a million times before, but this is the Robertsons, and it's never been funnier.
Korie tries to convince Willie he was the one with the bright idea, and it was a great idea at that. And it works, even if Si, Godwin and Martin razz him for it.
As they plan the big day, Phil and Kay spend some quality time in nature, with Kay chattering away as Phil attempts to fish. But they're adorable as ever.
The men start to gripe when they find out they have to wear tuxedos, and when they task Si with keeping Phil and Kay out of there, hilarity ensues.
Jase says he's "stunned" Si lasted a full five minutes into the planning before saying "Hey, we got a big surprise for ya!" But Si does save the day.
That would be an ice cream "date" he allegedly planned ... which turns into them driving around all over town to visit special places in their relationship.
Si, obviously, gets the names and locations all wrong.
Then the long-awaited, yet-unseen beardless brother, Alan Robertson, arrives. To officiate the wedding. He's a minister ... but he's still one of them.
Si finally scores big on his memory lane trip by bringing Phil and Kay to a tree where Phil had long ago carved his and Kay's names into a heart.
Of course, Si has also added his own name to the sappy mix.
The men of Duck Commander in rented tuxedos would have been reason enough to tune in, and is probably how the episode was first conceptualized.
Phil and Kay are both touched by the surprise, and Phil reminisces on the moment he paid the Justice of the Peace to marry them 49 years ago.
"That's the best fifteen dollars I ever borrowed," he says. Aww.
Phil hears arguments from all the brothers on why they should be the best man, but ultimately picks Si, of course, as Missy walks Miss Kay down the aisle.
Big tears flow. The big ratings are sure to follow.
Some of the night's best Duck Dynasty quotes:
- "Why volunteer for something when you don't know what it is. Have any of ya'll seen The Hunger Games?" - Willie
- "There's really only one way to convince a Robertson man to do anything. All you got to do is let him think it's his idea. Actually, there's two ways, but I save the other one for special occasions." - Korie
- "There's some things you only want to do once. And helping Korie plan a wedding is one of them." - Willie
- "Miss Kay likes to hang out with me at all times. The only time I'm away from my woman is out in the woods. But in my case, you have to go way deep in the woods." - Phil
- "Miss Kay, you want to know somethin'? You are my best buddy." - Phil
- "I'm stuck setting up for a wedding that's 50 years late. I wouldn't call this work; this is more in line with torture ... I've had a lot of nightmares that started off just like this." - Willie
- "What's up, bearded brethren?" - Alan
- "For whatever reason, our brother Alan got away with never growin' a beard. It may be odd to call a pastor the black sheep of the family, but that's what he is." - Alan
- "Willie, your crotch is like at your knees." - Korie
- "My best man will be Silas Robertson. We been runnin' together since he was naked." - Phil
- "From the time I was 14-years-old, I loved you. I loved you when we were poor, and you were not so nice. Now you're really nice and kind, and all I can say is I'm not going anywhere. I will love you forever." - Kay
- "We been runnin' together since we were teenagers. You have cooked me many a good meal; from your loins came four healthy, godly men; you are my best friend, and I love you dearly. And I'm gonna be with you for the long haul, 'til the put me in the ground. Deal?" - Phil
- "I ask God to bless both of you, 'cause I love you and I know he does ... Now let's marry these two before we go eat." - Si