The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: The Ticking Bomb

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta proved the "Strip is a Trip" as we waited for the time bomb in the room to tick down to its inevitable explosion.

We break down who set the fuse and who went pop in our THG +/- review.

The ladies left Hollywood behind and headed off of to Vegas…via bus. Minus 12. Granted it was a nice bus but a bus ride all the same.

NeNe Leakes Promo Pic

Smartest Housewife award goes to NeNe Leakes once again for ditching the bus and flying first class. Plus 20. I wouldn't have blamed her if she made up the excuse about working just so she could fly.

To kill time Kenya decides they should all do a little improv and try out their best housewife impressions. Honestly I thought that was going to go worse than it did.

Best Impression award went to Kenya but not for the one on the bus. She and Cynthia nailed it in the hotel room when they were making fun of Phaedra. Plus 10.

Speaking of Phaedra, if anyone wanted to hand out honors for the craziest faces that girl would win hands down. How does she contort her face into those scrunchy shapes? Minus 8. Does she know she looks like that on camera?

Before we finally get off the damned bus, Kandi performs the worst stand up routine in the history of housewives. Seriously? Orgasms and farting.  Comedy is suppose to make you laugh, not go eww. Minus 19.

Cynthia's so tired she says she wants to use Phaedra's donkey booty as a pillow.  Minus 10.

When the bus ride finally ends, the stripping begins as they all head to the Crazy Horse, sans Porsha.  Kordell wouldn't like it.

You knew the ladies weren't going to leave that one alone.  Certainly Kordell seems to rule the roost but Porsha appears to like it that way.  

Even more disturbing was Phaedra feeling up the dancers. As NeNe said, “I thought she was gonna take a bite out of Hello Kitty.”  I don't even want to know how much you have to tip for that. Minus 15.

On a side note, perhaps someone should tell Cynthia she shouldn't be riding a mechanical bull without panties…that is unless she's auditioning at the strip club. Minus 11.

Not that I'm against the Bedroom Kandi party but did they have to travel all the way to Vegas to have one?  Seems like they could have done that back in Atlanta.

And I didn't blame Porsha at all for not taking that pregnancy test.  Plus 15. Some things really should be between a husband and wife.

The strawberry seduction game was more disturbing than funny.  I saw more of Phaedra's tongue than I needed to but when she took a jab at Kenya and brought up Walter one more time I really wished she would have kept it in her mouth.

Leave it to Phaedra to throw out a hurtful dig and then act like she did nothing wrong. Minus 20.

Honestly, I expected Kenya's reaction to be more explosive.  She only went mildly cray cray, at least it was mild for Kenya.

Time to agree to hate one another and just move on.

EPISODE TOTAL: -50! SEASON TOTAL: -307!

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Walter is a Low Life. He has no respect for Kenya. And
Walter is nothing to look at. He has no personality.
Kenya has to find and will a REAL MAN with a good
heart. This man will appreciate this Beautiful Woman.
She will know him. When a man does not have passion for a woman, he should leave, with his mouth
closed. He should not utter not one word about her.
Walter has an evil mouth. Every DOG HAS THEIR DAY.

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I STOLE SOME WHITE PEOPLE HAIR ...

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Porsha is just as dumb as her idiot husband. God bless both. Please don't procreate more dumb fucks into this world..

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please let me "Tick" her breasts, folks!!