Gregory Matthew Bruni Arrested For Naked, Violent, Defecating, Masturbating Rampage

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When Tony and LaDonna Land discovered naked carnival worker Gregory Matthew Bruni on their roof, that alone could've made news. But their night had just begun.

Bruni, 21, allegedly assaulted Tony Land, trashed the couple's North Fort Myers, Fla., home and then defecated and masturbated INSIDE the house.

Gregory Matthew Bruni Picture

The Lands told police they were in their bedroom at around 7 p.m. Monday when they heard a noise that sounded like thunder, according to Fox 4 Now.

Tony went outside and says he saw Bruni on top of the roof, naked. Bruni allegedly jumped down on top of Land, knocking him over by hitting him in the shoulder.

The Lands say Gregory Matthew Bruni ran into the house, pulled a big-screen TV off the wall, and spilled the contents of a vacuum onto the floor.

LaDonna then grabbed her gun and began firing at the nude intruder.

She missed, and the couple called 911 ... as the situation got weirder.

After shots were fired, Bruni began masturbating feverishly in their living room before heading into their son's bedroom to rub some clothing on his face.

He also defecated on the floor in two spots within the home ... and sucked up the contents of the vacuum he had just emptied, then spit them back out.

The whole thing has a zombie apocalypse feel to it ... sans flesh-eating.

Authorities arrived, restrained the intruder, took him into custody and transported him to a hospital for evaluation. That should be one serious evaluation.

Bruni has been charged with criminal mischief, battery, occupied burglary and resisting arrest without violence. That's what happens when you ...

  • Get naked and climb up on someone's roof.
  • Jump off the roof onto someone and injure them.
  • Knock down somebody's flat screen TV.
  • Masturbate in someone's living room.
  • Defecate on the floor in two places.

While dodging bullets and drinking vacuum cleaner contents no less!

All in a day's work ...

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    Comments (10 Total)


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    tyler

    ok so for the record i have actually met this guy he's friends with my friends roomates in florida got to meet him after this all happend he actually didnt take or do anything and im kinda offended this was written and not true While dodging bullets and drinking vacuum cleaner contents no less!

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    lan

    "The whole thing has a zombie apocalypse feel to it ... sans flesh-eating." -- This is literally the stupidest thing I've ever read in an article and I just read this entire article.

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    Tony
    @lan

    agreed

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    AGrey50

    I hate how stupid some people are. I promise not all Floridians are this stupid. Most of us do have brains and live normal lives... Lol :)

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    Jeannine

    Wow he decided to try bathsalts LOL I cannot believe that she couldn't hit the drugged up fool with a bullet she needs to go to target practice. I would of shot him and NOT missed! Are you aloud to say that on the internet LOL

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    what up

    People in Florida are nuts, why do most of these weird ass news stories happen in Florida??? People drinking to much swamp water??