The Real Housewives of Miami "Reunion" show relived all the boob jobs and character bashing we've seen all season and added a bit of extra venom just for fun.
We break down their finger pointing tirades in THG's +/- recap!
First off, I must say that Andy's plaid tie is an interesting cholce. Plus 10. It is almost the antithesis of all of the sequins and bling that surround him.
Andy mentions that Miami shows more boobs and ass than most of the Housewives franchises. So true. And almost all of it has had some after market work done.
Lea admits to a neck lift. Joanna a boob job. Lisa to boobs and Botox but the rest of the ladies remain suspiciously quiet. Minus 13.
I'd bet boobs and Botox all around but I suppose we may never know for sure. What's your guess?
And of course Elsa's story is such a nightmare that they barely touch on it. Minus 18. Perhaps that's the cautionary tale that should be told most often.
Ana's not admitting to a boob job but she's certainly put the girls on full display. Did she forget to wear part of that top? She looks like she's going to fall out if it at any moment.
Andy finally gets to the relationship drama and there is plenty of it. Plus 11.
Despite the lack of sex, Romain calling her a "pain in the ass," and Joanna spying on his texts, this on again, off again couple is on once again. They've gone back and forth so many times I'm not even sure how to grade that one. And that's when Adriana jumps in.
Since when does Adriana hate Joanna this much? They seemed to end the season being at least civil to one another but the gloves have obviously come off.
Adriana accuses Joanna of getting back together with Romain for the publicity and that without him she might not be on the show. Minus 15. Um…isn't Joanna the only semi-celebrity of this group? Why would she need a club owner to get her on?
The name calling doesn't stop all night as Adriana accuses Joanna of being an alcoholic, a whore, and a mental case. Gee, I wish she'd tell us what she really thinks.
Minus 20 because Adriana's always been a bit of a nut but tonight she comes off as nothing but petty and mean. Someone may need to adjust her medication because she's really off the hook.
Even Lea, who Adriana admits is her one real friend, tells her that what she's showing to the world is the opposite of the beautiful image she portrays on the outside.
Once Andy gets Adriana and Joanna to pull their claws back in, he asks Karent about Rodolfo…and all I can think is, Please tell me she didn't take the sleazeball back.
Yay! Plus 25. Karent really kicked him to the curb. Her father's illness showed her what was truly important and Rodolfo didn't make the list. Thank goodnesss.
When Lea jumps to Karent's defense, Ana says Lea's "blowing smoke up her ass." Whoa! Where did all of this rage towards Lea come from?
Minus 19. Ana gets truly nasty. Who knew she had that in her? But I'm still not sure why.
Ana claims Lea isn't even relevant in her own home and implies her husband is cheating on her. She continually makes digs about her age and says Lea has "done all her best work on her back." .
MInus 15. Lea's not my favorite person but where did all of this vitriol come from? I don't remember anything like this coming from Ana all season.
Plus 17 to Andy for stopping the umpteenth retelling of Marysol's red carpet story. I may have fallen asleep if I had to listen to that one again.
Suddenly we're back to the Adriana / Joanna feud and I think Adriana might hurt herself if she continue to roll her eyes like that.
Andy brings up Joanna's drinking problem and she swears she doesn't have a problem, just a small issue. Minus 10. Perhaps she needs to watch the video again.
Joanna says she'd rather be a verbally abusive drunk than a slutty drunk. Does it have to be one or the other?
Adriana points out that her true nature comes out when she drinks and she's an evil drunk. Joanna shoots back that Adriana's evil when she's sober.
Minus 9 because just when I thought the screeching was over I realize that this reunion show continues next week.
EPISODE TOTAL: -56! SEASON TOTAL: -336!