The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Whine Party

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Too good to be true. That's what The Real Housewives of New Jersey's trip to "Whine Country" has been so far, but that's all about to change.

We'll break down all the sexcapades and snubs in our THG +/- recap!

The Russian River Valley looks like such tranquil place until the Jersey crowd pass through.  An immediate minus 12 to Teresa showing off her potty mouth.

And just how desperate is this woman to get her husband's attention?  She's asking him "Do you want to stick your finger in my ***?" and telling him she wants to do him in the vineyards all in front of her brother and sister-in-law.  What is she overcompensating for?

Teresa Rides in the RV

We find out all too soon but let's stick to our RV ride for a moment.

Plus 10 to Melissa for pointing out to Teresa that once she gives quotes about her life to magazines, she's given up the expectation of privacy.  If she didn't want people to ask her if she's going to jail, why talk about it and pose for a magazine cover?

Jacqueline says something about Teresa seeing the truth about herself.  Ha!  Jacqueline is so naive. Minus 11.  I don't see Jacqueline being able to keep their relationship casual in a way that she doesn't end up in tears yet again.

Then we're off to do some wine tasting. Why in Hell would Chris invite the Guidices and Gorgas along if he wanted to make a good impression on his new business associates?  Minus 15.  What was he thinking?

As Joe Gorga says the wine tastes like his wife and Guidice wants to leave, Teresa wonders why the others are such sticks in the mud.  This is fun, not work.  Looks like someone didn't get the memo.

The two Joes act like a couple of horny teenagers but is that really surprising?  The question of the day…who can see Teresa's crotch? Minus 13.  If she can afford the designer dresses you'd think she could buy a pair of underwear to go with it.

Which is worse? Gorga jumping on the art work at the winery or Guidice saying it looks like Gorga's penis? These boys really need to go back to Jersey.

The one nice moment of the trip is Caroline's birthday surprise.  Her husband and kids set up dinner overlooking the vineyard and the view was gorgeous.  Plus 22.  Nicely done.  Caroline says that Albert's the best thing that ever happened to her followed by her three kids.  It's a sweet moment and you can tell she means it.

Such obvious love and affection amongst family members makes the lack of it all the more glaring in the Guidices. 

Does Joe not remember that he's wearing a live mic?  Because he takes a phone call that's obviously from another woman and then he calls Teresa his "b*tch wife" and says, "She's such a c**t."

Minus 20.  So not only is he cheating on Teresa but he's tearing her down too. 

Just when you think it can't get worse, it does.  Teresa seems to know there's something up and doesn't buy his story about the phone call being from a guy from work.  But does she confront him about it? No.  Instead she wants to have sex in the vineyards.  What makes it all the more embarrassing is that he turns her down and calls her a "f*ckin' whore" before finally giving in.

Teresa & Joe in the Vineyard

Minus 12 because did we really need the play by play from Richie about Teresa with her legs in the air?  Ugh.

The saddest part is that some day their kids will probably see this footage.  Minus 22.

There's one more dinner to go in the wine country and things continue to unravel.  Teresa gives a lovely toast mentioning how much she loves everyone…except her cousin Kathy who is sitting right next to her.  Was it an intentional snub or did she simply forget to mention her cousin?

On this one I've got to agree with Richie.  Who the Hell cares what Teresa says?  Plus 10. It might be better to be snubbed by Teresa than noticed.

Looks like we've got one more week on the west coast.  Will any of them still be speaking by the time this trip is over?

EPISODE TOTAL -63! SEASON TOTAL: - 267!

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I got cut off, I wanted to finish saying that I think the producers of the show set this up to shock us. I don't think Teresa is so weakminded and abused that she would allow this to be aired and make a mockery out of her. I think they are acting and that they got paid well. I think we are all chomping at the bit to see what happens to poor Theresa and her old friends will come to comfort her in her time of pain as she goes to the bank to deposit her check!

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Wow! Treasa save what little pride you have left!! Leave that bozo husband of yours, hes really dragging you lower than down already!!!
So sad you were so good on the first season. Now your just grasping for crumbs and losing all dignity.
Run!!!

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Finally got the chance to watch last night. Annie is correct, Joe DID push his wife's face away. I came away feeling profoundly sorry for Theresa. Any women who has to beg for her husbands attention like a dog for scraps should be pitied. It was just sad.

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Working with some demons! Wow, you are not kidding. I struggled with the thought of Teresa trying to seduce her reluctant husband for the cameras and I couldnt come up with a good reason. No human being could do that without a hidden reason ( with her blinders on).
But, you know, I think that you are right. She did it to send a message to her husbands mistress. Teresa has no morals, she cannot be embarassed if she can make her point ( even if its in her head only)and is not capable of understanding the connection between have sex out in the open, on TV for her children to see, and right /wrong. If she ever understands these basic principals she is a suicide waiting to happen. There is too much evil within her to live with.

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she is embarrassing, yet entertaining. I'm with rich, WHO CARES, kathy should just forget trying to with with teresa. teresa is too pathetic to watch.

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I don't like Teresa, but I felt sorry for her. Obviously Juicy Joe has found some new stuff. How horrible to think she has to beg that little dumbass for sex, ugh!

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Teresa knows and has always known that her napoleonic syndrome husband is/was cheating. They are what we call in the Midwest "trash with "money". Her antennas went up the minute he got up and said he needed to call his "work". She cheapened herself in the vineyard with that short man because she knew that episode would be aired and that Joe's "outside piece" would see that. Just to let the "outside piece"know her "stuff is still being used by him. Miss Thing is really working with some demons!!!!

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I fell asleep last night before this episode came on, and after reading this I can't wait to watch it!!!!!

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I want to say these people are a very poor example of new jerseys finest people. Every state has a poor part of the state but these guys are saying they were from a better class of people from money before show started. I think not it shows a bunch of low lifes making it rich on us watching them get rich and sucking at it.let real new jersey show you how its done.these people are the lowest grade of people I mean who acts like that while your friend took you on a wonderful trip to do a business deal jumps on a piece of logo for the company saying its parts of someones body???give it a break and teresa has lost her morals,dignity, friends and by the looks of it her husband.it looked to me like joe actually oushes her face out of the way in coming attractions.this is not a show her children would be proud of. All this for the sake of money??!!??i believe they havent figured it out yet that they lost their souls too.