Bachelor Pad Recap: Michelle and Graham FTW!

by at . Comments

In a STUNNING twist that makes absolutely no difference except to Erica and Blake, Bachelor Pad made its pairings officially "couple" up on Monday night.

As a result, Blake found himself further ostracized from the house.

By the end, the two castoffs from The Bachelor and Bachelorette were fighting not to be castoffs again, while a new love connection began to blossom.

Read about it below in THG's official +/- Bachelor Pad recap:

Graham Bunn and Michelle Money

Blake, awkwardly, must pair with Erica because he has no choice. She feels he should express a little bit more excitement. "I'm a lot smarter than Holly is," Erica says. "And in my opinion I am a lot prettier." No and no. Minus 8.

Venerable BP host-pimp Chris Harrison told the partners to "get to know" each other before the competition. Advantage ... who the heck knows! Plus 3.

Vienna Girardi and Kasey Kahl, as always, are overconfident. And moronic. Minus 12.

In the game, men and women answer questions about each other and then must predict what answer their partners gave. Kasey predicts that Vienna's exes would most miss her teeth. She said boobs. Obviously, guys. Plus 6.

Mike says it would take three dates before Holly will sleep with a guy, when he - who was once engaged to Holly - needed 32. Good work, man! Minus 9.

Speaking of Mike, the show should start using images of baby animals being kicked around or something, because it would be comparably sad. Minus 5.

Kirk DeWindt and Ella Nolan

Kirk and Ella may not be a couple, but they play a cute one on TV! Plus 10.

Michelle Money and Graham Bunn devise a plan by which they will use standard answers to particular types of questions (i.e. ones with numerical answers). This hilariously leads to Michelle guessing Graham lost his v-card at age 7. Plus 20.

Plus 5 more because unlike Ames and Jackie, they're still together!

Michelle and Graham get half-naked in a hot tub for a private screening of What's Your Number? Romance and product placement, together at last! Plus 5.

Blake: "Kasey and Vienna burst in, and Vienna's saying, 'He ripped a ring off my finger because I wouldn't have sex with him!' And I just said, 'I need to go in this room, because I don't know what to say.'" Ditto. Minus 17.

"You never said no, you said yes," Kasey says. "Just like you told Wes. Just like you told David Good." Wow. Vienna is totes the Bachelor Pad bicycle. Plus 8.

Minus 13 for the brief night-vision shot of those two "cuddling."

Blake Julian and Erica Rose

"I'm totally going to seduce him on this date. That way he'll forget about her." - Erica, who is as delusional about her own looks as she is Blake. Minus 11.

Erica offers to help Blake "relieve any tension." Subtle. Plus 7.

Man, that date was painful to watch, but Plus 6 because it was clearly worse for Blake to actually be on it. He looked beyond scared / mortified by the end.

"I feel like you painted yourself into this corner and you assumed that I would hop right on there." - Blake. LOL. Plus 2. "You'll be known as the guy that hooked up with the craziest f---ing girl in the whole entire world... and tried to get with a girl who has a boyfriend. That's weird." - Erica. Touche! Plus 8.

For reasons unknown to humankind, they give the "safety roses" to Kasey and Vienna. Honestly. Worst. Strategy. Ever. But it did almost work, so Minus only 4.

Vienna wants Ella out because ... she's the anti-Vienna? Minus 3.

It was close, but Holly cast the deciding vote to evict Blake and Erica, sparing Ella, who's probably the nicest and prettiest girl in the house. Amen. Plus 9.


GONE: Erica Rose, Blake Julian, many brain cells.

Tags: , , , , , ,