You wouldn't imagine Bachelor Pad would make you tear up at the end (from genuine emotion, not laughter) but there's a first time for everything.
The season's second episode featured the usual fare - drama, boring dates, people taking things way too seriously - but also a truly romantic moment.
By the end, Jake Pavelka vs. Vienna Girardi and Kasey Kahl felt more like a sideshow. You can thank Ames Brown and Jackie Gordon for that.
Read all about it below in THG's official +/- recap:
The challenge this week: "Target on Your Back." Rules: Idiots line up, blindfolded, and have eggs winged at them based on questions. Plus 6.
Jake bears the brunt of the ladies' chicken embryos, but takes it in stride. When Erica gets hit with nearly EVERY egg, though? Harsh. Minus 9.
Why not just throw the eggs at the middle of the pack if the answer doesn't actually matter? Big Brother always has a trivia component. Minus 2.
Minus another 4 for the guys having to throw underhand. Come on, at least let Jake wind up for a fastball at Vienna the Cheater. Three times!
Melissa and Michael emerge as winners of the worst game ever. Their prize, in addition to a rose, is a date with three different people! Plus 3.
Michael's date occurs at The Linda Vista Hospital - abandoned, haunted, not romantic and featured on NCIS: Los Angeles recently. So ... Wash?
Michael to Holly: "I want to hang out with you all the time. I really want you to be happy ... I still love the s#!t out of you." Heartwarming. Plus 5.
Blake, on wooing Melissa for the rose: "It's akin to a prostitute, I hate it. But I have to whore myself out to keep her happy." Lovely. Minus 6.
Plus 12 for Kasey not getting the rose because of said whoring, however, dealing a blow to the frog-voiced, self-important douche "Godfather."
No sooner do they arrive back to the Pad then Blake hops in bed with ... Holly! Minus 4 for sheer boldness, given the ancillary parties involved.
Holly Durst "is like this beautiful island of serenity," Blake says, "and I want to get a little row boat and join her on that island. But I can't because every time I get in the row boat it gets capsized by Melissa." Plus 10.
Jake begs Vienna and Kasey to save him from elimination. If they do, and he wins, he promises to donate the $250,000 prize money to charity. Vienna just laughs, saying, "You're $300,000 in debt!" Busted, Jake. Minus 15.
The producers essentially change to rules to keep Jake around! Plus 5.
Graham reveals to Kasey that Gia had been plotting to send him or Vienna home, thus breaking up their power couple status. Gia has a meltdown that Graham would "stab her in the back" so hard. She leaves. Minus 12.
Melissa to Blake: "I've been winning competitions for US! I'm done with you!" Serenity? Nowhere to be found. Crazy? Oh yeah! Plus 4.
The elimination comes down to Ella and Jackie, and the latter gets the boot. Then Ames, after bidding her farewell, has an epiphany, realizes he's on Bachelor Pad and runs after the limo! True love prevails! So sweet! Plus 20.
Bonus Plus 10 for Ames Brown and Jackie Gordon somehow leaving Bachelor Pad with their reputations as cool people intact. That is not a small feat.
EPISODE TOTAL: +23. SEASON TOTAL: +14.
OUT: Justin Rego, Alli Travis.