The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: A Very Guido Christmas

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey are back and hosting their very guido Christmas. Let's see what the holiday spirit brings with THG's +/- recap!

Caroline's daughter Lauren is in a bit of a funk or as Caroline says, she's in full on bitch mode. Apparently poor Lauren is feeling left out. Her big brothers have moved away and she's got no one left to play with.

Seriously though, her brothers are nice enough to give her a key to their place and she still whines. Minus 7. Time to grow up. Your brothers are older. They have their own lives. You're not 16. Get over it and find one of your own.

Gorga, M

I have to say that as odd as it seems, that green feathered Christmas tree is really growing on me. Plus 5 for being original, funky, and festive.

So is Melissa Gorga the next Beyonce? Oh God. Minus 10 for having to sit through yet another singing housewife. It looks like everyone wants to be a pop star.

Joe's hackles go up the moment he hears she may have to spend long hours in the studio. Yes, Joe. Real singers actually put a great deal of time and effort into their craft. 

But Joe and Melissa have the solution. I almost choked on my drink when Melissa gushed, "Oh Joe, I need a studio in the house." Minus another 5.

The next thing you know, Joe and his buddies are building a studio in the basement. It doesn't seem like they have any clue what they're doing but why is that a surprise. And am I missing something or will they still need someone to watch the kids, even if the studio is in the basement.

Has Teresa Giudice been working out? She looked really good dressed up for her husband's special dinner. Plus 6.

And a picnic on the floor in the living room is very romantic but it has me wondering if their furniture has been repossessed.

Why the heck is Rich acting so put upon about Kathy's time being taken up with her running a restaurant. It's HIS idea. Minus 5 for whining about it now.

Nice Fur

Albert's reaction to their restaurant news is positively perfect. Plus 15 when Albert laughs out loud. Making a restaurant successful takes a huge amount of work and there is no one better than Albert to set these two straight.

Jacqueline really does have her heart in the right place. She wants peace and is trying to help her friends. She earns a Plus 10 for putting herself out there. 

Does anyone else think that Kim G is a petty, mean spirited, b*tch? Jackie gains another plus 5 for telling her to "shut the f*** up" after she clearly asks her not to bring up Teresa several times. She could have earned more points if she had gotten up and walked out.

The party has its highs and lows. Who would have thought the high point would be Joe Gorga dressing in drag. I can't imagine Jacqueline ever wearing that outfit again. 

The low point is that Teresa and Melissa need mediators to stop them from starting their petty fighting all over again. 

EPISODE TOTAL: +14! SEASON TOTAL: -29!

The holiday festivities continue next week. Will there be table flipping? Will punches be thrown? When you mix a little wine with some New Jersey housewives, you really never know what might happen ...

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Jose Hernandez seriously needs a dictionary WTF?

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Teresa gludice is a turbel maker.she has a good huspen.

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Teresa gludice is a turbel maker

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