The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: All The Ingrediences For Disaster

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey are back again, but it's not the housewives themselves that get under our skin as much as the husbands.

Sometimes, I think this show is about who can be the trashiest. Was there a winner this week? Let's recap with our +/-review!

Teresa is reviewing the photos for her new cookbook and I have to admit, they look great. Plus 10. Of course she nitpicks with the photographer. One picture should include parsley, there should be more sauce on the meatballs, etc. I suppose she needs to feel involved but from what I saw, the guy knows what he's doing.  

T to the G

Teresa gains a Plus 15 for her creative vocabulary. The name for her next book, "Fabulicious" is her personal word creation. Of course so is the "ingrediences" she uses. I won't even touch her pronunciation of the word cumin.  

Cousin Kathy decides she needs to speak to Caroline after the way things were left during last week's fashion show. She defends herself to Caroline about her confrontation with Teresa. "I was coming from a place of love. Caroline's response. "I don't care." Plus 5 because I really love Caroline for not listening to Kathy's self serving bs.

Then Kathy laments that she's a grown woman and doesn't need Caroline's approval. Then why the heck did she trek all the way to her house. Minus 10 for hypocrisy. If Kathy doesn't want people to think she's a trouble maker, perhaps she should stop causing trouble.

Of course it certainly works out in Kathy's favor. Her husband feels Teresa was rude to her so he wants to make her feel better... by buying her a Mercedes! Does that feel like overcompensating to anyone else?

And where do these people get their money? The new Mercedes? The Ferrari? Damn.

Looks like Albie and Chris have another roommate, Albie's friend Greg from college. They describe Greg as their "man sister." Plus 3 for the little dog in the pink hoodie.

The whole family helps Albie and Chris move in but Jacqueline gives the most original present for their new home. A stripper pole. Plus 10 for the housewarming gift that keeps on giving.

Now we get to the horror show otherwise known as Joe Gorga. Someone, I beg you. Make it stop.  

RHONJ Class Acts

It starts off harmlessly trashy enough with Joe and baby Joey in matching guido sweatsuits. Minus 3 for ego but it quickly goes downhill from there.

Life is one constant booty call for Joe. He not only regales us with stories of his own sex drive but his father's as well. Minus 8 for making me shudder and just when I think it can't get worse, it does.

Joe hasn't had sex in four days and this is how he describes it. "You know when you've got a big white zit and you pop it and it shoots across the room." Honestly, woman allow this man to touch them? Minus 13 for making me even think about that. I feel ill just having him on my TV screen. He goes on to describe his build up of bodily fluids as poison in his body. In Joe's case, I have no doubt.

I'm not a huge fan of Teresa's but I'll admit she's smarter than her brother. I'm not sure a body can still breathe and be dumber. But please, have pity on the world. Don't let there be more Teresas out there.

Poor Jacqueline. Plus 5 for trying to be a good friend and helping Teresa write her letter to Joe but after several hours she realizes Teresa's going to write whatever she wants.

Weepy

In the end, the letter wasn't half bad. Plus 5 for making the effort towards reconciliation.

Minus 10 for Joe Gorga when he refuses to read it. It actually makes me wonder if he has problems reading when he has Melissa read it to him. Or maybe he's just an ass.

Melissa complains that Teresa hasn't sent a card for the christening and that's a very big deal. So, it's OK to tell her to F-off at the event but she damn well better still send some cash in a card. There are standards. Minus 5 because these folks make my head spin.

In the end Joe doesn't want to make the effort to talk to his sister unless she changes. Melissa tells him he'll never know if it's possible if he doesn't talk to her. Melissa as the voice of reason? Who knew?

EPISODE TOTAL: +4! SEASON TOTAL: -3! Hang on for next week. It's the Thanksgiving episode. Get ready to duck.

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I like Kathy a lot and I think her kids are cute and show respect. Not like the others (Ashley in particular).Teresa was competing way too much for her brother's attention. She's totally jealous of Melissa. That's creepy. I think she's setting out to purposely make her brother and sister-in-law look bad and garner the sympathy vote from viewers. She's trashy but yet a first class hypocrite who doesn't know when to shut up. We're starting to see Caroline and Jackie getting tired of her and her drama this season probably because she's a troublemaker. Her husband is just plain scum. Where are they getting all this money that they seem to acquire??? Dirt bag hubby doesn't really work.

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Please tell Teresa's brother to take his hat off when eating at the table. You don't eat at the table with your hat on. The only normal people in this program are Caroline and her husband. They are the only ones with common sense and no drama. That whole episdoe with the riding bull was disgusting. I think her brother has the short man syndrome. I don't think Cathy and her family, Joe and his family should have been brought into the program.

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We are suppposed to feel SORRY for Theresa even though she is still flaunting her house and attitude? Why doesnt Joe get out of bed and get to work? She would still be the same old Theresa if they were not "found out". Cry me a river! Question a car but not $200,000 for 2 rooms of furniture paying cash ?

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All three pronunciations of cumin are correct. And English is Theresa's second language. Very classy to make fun of that. How good is your Italian?

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Melissa cathy joe are trash

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I feel so bad for Teresa and I SO agree her brother gives you the creaps . IM Italian and her brother and his wife are disgusting and KATHY not to classy. Danielle wish I never thought I yet would say was better to watch. I hope they get rid of them soon. I wonder how he likes fame now I havent seen any positve comments on her Joe Gorga or his wife yet they have no class and should be ashamed at what their kids will have to watch one day. He is so fake it Breaks his heart he is so full of it . JOE your hurting the family not your sister what does your sister have to do sink to your level with a brother like you who needs enimies.

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I feel so bad for Teresa and I SO agree her brother gives you the creaps . IM Italian and her brother and his wife are disgusting and KATHY not to classy. Danielle wish I never thought I yet would say was better to watch. I hope they get rid of them soon. I wonder how he likes fame now I havent seen any positve comments on her Joe Gorga or his wife yet they have no class and should be ashamed at what their kids will have to watch one day. He is so fake it Breaks his heart he is so full of it . JOE your hurting the family not your sister what does your sister have to do sink to your level with a brother like you who needs enimies.

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omgoodness made my skin crawl...the husband hounding her for sex...yuck. like her body is not even her own. he guilts her into it by saying he has "poisen" backed up in his system. evidently it's effecting his brain.
i guarantee theresa is going to get old with caroline this season. she is already weary of her shenanagins. she (caroline) minimized their (theresa and caroline) friendship, YET remained loyal with reference to the cousin.
how on heaven and earth is that spoiled over indulged brat daughter of jaqueline's even get on the show? that girl should be put out on her ass with nothing but her own resources to get herself by. um, that is what most of us have to do. she is SOOO ungrateful...poor baby....broken family. PULEEZE, get over it, take a look around "broken family" is the new norm. all a matter of perspective. she will milk that angle til the cows come home and help herself to step daddy's wallet. suckers.
just sayin.

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Honestly, this is a freak show. Caroline and her family are the closest to normal. I thought Teresa and Joe were bad but her brother's family takes low class to a whole new level. I'm not sure how much more of this I can watch.

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I feel so sorry for Teresa. Her sister in law and cousin are catty, insecure, and not educated, little witches. I don't like the way Joe Gorga treats Teresa, and really think that Melisa and Cathy are feeding the tension between Teresa and her brother. And I thought MY sisetr in laws were catty !

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