The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Kill Each Other in Your Own Homes!

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For normal people it would simply be known as the family christening, but here on The Real Housewives of New Jersey it is referred to as "the incident."

Get ready to relive the aftermath of the Gorga/Guidice feud from last week's Real Housewives of N.J. premiere as THG breaks it down in our +/- recap!

Everyone's still talking about the brawl at The Manor but Jacqueline and Caroline missed the main event. That prompted Caroline to interrogate Teresa like she was auditioning for an episode of Law & Order. Plus 8.

Teresa proclaims she is the matriarch of her family and doesn't need Caroline's advice. Plus 3 for using such big words.

Good Giudice

Melissa and Joe rehash the incident with Kathy and Rich. Melissa says her husband had "a couple of drinks." A couple? I lost count of how many shots he belted back at that party. 

They put the blame squarely on Teresa. "She knows the look," that Joe was giving her. And Kathy agrees." He's a Gorga. He has that switch." You mean the special Gorga switch that means he's exempt from holding his temper like every other adult in the world?

Minus 15 if being a Gorga means it's OK to throw a temper tantrum in public like some violent two-year-old.

Melissa seems surprised that everyone at the Posche Boutique is asking her about the incident. "Bad news travels like wildfire in this town," Melissa quips. Well, you are filming it for a reality show so I'm going to guess keeping it private wasn't your highest priority. Plus 6 for sheer ridiculousness.

Teresa dresses up as Super T, her own personal super hero for Halloween. As sad as it was I'll have to give her a Plus 3 for having some fun with her kids.

Of course then we knock that down with a Minus 5 for dressing her adorable little baby as a gym teacher of all things.

Please God, make it stop. Joe Gorga in a slinky spandex dress and heels for Halloween. My eyes! My eyes! Minus 10 for the post traumatic stress that vision is sure to cause.

Cat Woman, Cat Fight

Melissa thinks her husband is hot, even in the horrible costume. Plus 5 for proving that there truly is somebody for everybody.

Must Melissa call everyone "bitches." Minus 3 for childish trashiness.

The day of the Posche Fashion show arrives and it's being held at The Brownstone. Caroline asks her husband to get her a good seat…preferably one by the door so she can make a quick escape. A definite Plus 10 for planning ahead.

Melissa and Teresa are both walking the catwalk. Teresa looks stiff and uncomfortable while Melissa acts like she owns the place. It's a wash. No points awarded but I may be blinded by all of the sequins in the room so scratch that. Plus 3.

At the fashion show Melissa's evil sister Lisa mouths "What the f*ck," while pointing to Teresa. Ah, always a lady, especially at a public event. Minus 4.

Kim G asks "Should we boo Teresa?" as Teresa walks down the catwalk. Seriously? Are you still in high school?  Please grow up. Minus 7.

Jacqueline can hear it. Can you? Tick, tick, tick, tick…Boom!

I'm Talkin' to Yous

Kathy decides to intercede in the Gorga / Guidice feud. Really Kathy? Everyone was doing such a great job at simply being snarky and talking behind one another's backs. 

Then she remarks that Teresa left her children unattended during the brawl and if there had been a table between them it would have been flipped. 

Joe certainly isn't the only one with the Gorga temper. To be fair to Kathy, it didn't look like either Teresa or Melissa knew where their kids were when all hell broke loose. That is unless you count little Gia trying to drag her mother away from the fight. So, Plus 5 for pointing it out and spicing up a dull party.

Caroline does her best to break it up before we have another incident. "Kill each other in your own homes." Plus 5 for stepping in but Minus 3 for killing our fun. 

Teresa storms off yelling "Show some class" to Kathy and Melissa. Minus 8. On this show? What fun would that be.

EPISODE TOTAL: -7! Don't miss next week so we can all find out which character will throw the next temper tantrum in Jersey.

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Teresa Giudice Biography

Steppin Out Feature
Teresa Giudice is a Real Housewife of New Jersey. She was born in the Garden State and is married to a guy named Joe. She has three... More »
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Teresa Giudice