Charlie Sheen to Loser Critics: Sit Back. Enjoy the Show!!!

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Charlie Sheen appeared on The Alex Jones Show this afternoon, taking time to address critics, comment on his love life and bash the heck out of Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre.

He also referred to Thomas Jefferson as a "pussy."

Among the topics covered in this wide-ranging, absolute must-drop-everything-and-listen-to-right-now interview:

  • His harem of sex partners, which includes Natalie Kenly, is "a marriage is a heart. Or of the hearts. To sully or contaminate what we have with a [marriage] contract is something I'll leave to the bible grippers. The bible grippers."
  • Is Brooke Mueller a part of it still? No. "Where there were four, there are now three. Goodbye, Brooke. Good luck in your travels, you're gonna need it. Badly!"
  • He's getting a new tattoo, described as "gnarlyisms." It's a banner from Apocalypse Now, combined with the apple from The Giving Tree. "There's my life. Deal with it. Oh, wait, can't process it? LOSERS! Winning! Buh-bye."
  • On his critics: "I'm dealing with fools and trolls... They lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and then look at their loser lives and look at me and think: I cant process it! Well, no, and you never will. Stop trying. Just sit back and enjoy the show!"
  • On Lorre: He's a "turd," who "I embarrassed... by healing at a pace that his un-evolved mind cannot process."
  • He also refers to himself as a "High Priest Vatican Assassin Warlock."

The only thing more ridiculous than every word out of Sheen's mouth? The self-serving brown nosing of the show's host. Throughout the interview, Jones was on his figurative knees for the actor more than Bree Olson likely is right at this very moment.

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this guy is a big time loser, he looks like his is so old and lost his looks, he was on good morning america and the two porn starts he is with, where sitting on a couch and he kissed each one of them! that made me so sick and his second ex wife was a part of this over the weekend. this is too sick for me, he is an alcoholic, a drug addict and a sex fen.

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I absolutely love Two and a Half Men...but listening to that interview with Charlie?? Most of it didn't make any sense....

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Celebrity Death Match: Moammar Gadhafi vs Charlie Sheen That's a ticket worth buying!

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I am a woman, most of my best friends are men, as a resut of this I know how men think, they would love to be in Charlie's situation as that's an ideal situation and they don't have to pretend. Most men are like Charlie including my husband (multiple women), they are just pretending to be outraged. I
worked in clubs and saw a lot of what he is going through and
a lot of people are like that, I think that's why he is so outraged as I think it's only because he was caught and everyone is pretending to be all innocent, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO NOT CORRECT MY GRAMMAR, THIS IS NOT A TEST.

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EE, sorry to hear about youre bro. i sent a letter to youre dad from oh. should be there in a few days,please read it and hope to get that chance.i would bring you in,this will be a hit. ms

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Charlie I have name for your cult. Name it big head.

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Great show, but he's become another statistic who's lost touch with reality. It's a shame.

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Much more fun 'n' games to come.

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Ridiculous. Arrogant. Pompous. Comical. Self-Absorbed. Rude. Offensive. Charlie Sheen. He's addicted to winning, he says. Too bad he's a massive loser. And "BUH BYE"? How immature!

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.....and I meant croak not chrome! Damn iPad!