Breaking, False News: Kristen Stewart Dumps Robert Pattinson!

by at . Comments

It's all over, folks.

Due to poor magazine sales the pressure of the relationship, a leading supermarket tabloid has invented a new story that reports that Kristen Stewart has broken up with Robert Pattinson.

Water for Elephants Shot

“Rob was talking marriage,” said OK! Weekly's imaginary anonymous source, adding Stewart was unhappy with how little she was seeing of her friends and family. “She told him they need to take a break.”

How sad. It was just two issues weeks ago that this same publication pretended to have interviewed a supposedly happy Robsten inside their home, citing the couple itself as claiming it was essentially "married" already.

What could have gone wrong in the last few days? It's hard for OK! to make up believable quotes from non-existent people to say. But there is good news:

The magazine is already working on a cover story about aliens taking over Kristen's body Rob winning his true love back. Phew!

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Kiki,I'm siarttng to believe more and more that it's the Twilight franchise that makes her ..meh.Can't wait for Snow WHite and the Huntsman. Certainly looks promising! :)

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i doubt kristen broke up with him.. he defently broke up with her

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TODAY kristen b-day happy birthday k-stew mine was on april 2 luv u as actress so cool

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such a lie i meen if they gonna lie bout others then make it seem reel so dum its personal leeve theme alone jut truth ok

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i think that not only the OK magazines should leave kris and rob alone i think that they should leave all of them lot out there alone (famous ppl of course) only if they want to expose their sex life then they can, and its just even more discrasful if they make up stuff about them which is not true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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i just read about this supposed to be break up and i really couldnt care i think that rob and kristen should do what they want and it should ot be anyone elses buisness i think that the newspapers should leave their reltionship out of it and just concentrate on their films leave other gossip alone and let them be its most likely hard enough getting through the day without that crap in your face anyways if they did go out i am rather happy for them because they both look like really nice people and they work really well together i wish them the bestxx

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um...I find this whole break up, back together, engaged, married crap so boring. God forbid how you crazed fans would act if rob turned out to be gay and going out with kellan lutz. Lmao!...no no, lets keep it real...kellans too straight to be talkin like that....i must admitt, i did enjoy twilight and seein it come to life, but all the rest. All of this. Its so pointless....p.s: i'd do kellan, chaske and taylor in a heartbeat! Lmao!!

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i so agree. its n one elses buisness what they do!

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i think everyone needs to just mind their own dang buisness and leave them alone! if they want to be together they cant and if not then thats fine! its their choice and everyone else needs to just but out!

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omg, i hope that they are together! they are so perfect for eachother. and if they DO get married, i will be even more jealus of kristen stewart then now.♥♥

Robert Pattinson Biography

Red-Haired Hunk Robert Pattinson wasn't a household name... until he starred in Twilight. Now, the British actor is well on his way to the A-list.... More »
Born
Birthplace
London, England
Full Name
Robert Pattinson

Robert Pattinson Quotes

I hate any reference to my name. I wish people would just completely invent a new one.

Robert Pattinson

Up until I was 12 my sisters used to dress me up as a girl and introduce me as Claudia!

Robert Pattinson
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