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Breaking, False News: Kristen Stewart Dumps Robert Pattinson!

It's all over, folks.

Due to poor magazine sales the pressure of the relationship, a leading supermarket tabloid has invented a new story that reports that Kristen Stewart has broken up with Robert Pattinson.

“Rob was talking marriage,” said OK! Weekly's imaginary anonymous source, adding Stewart was unhappy with how little she was seeing of her friends and family. “She told him they need to take a break.”

Split Up

How sad. It was just two issues weeks ago that this same publication pretended to have interviewed a supposedly happy Robsten inside their home, citing the couple itself as claiming it was essentially "married" already.

What could have gone wrong in the last few days? It's hard for OK! to make up believable quotes from non-existent people to say. But there is good news:

The magazine is already working on a cover story about aliens taking over Kristen's body Rob winning his true love back. Phew!

 

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28 Comments

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  1. NoWay Says:

    Don't believe They were ever together!
    Publicity only!

  2. hmmm Says:

    They are still together. I find it rather amusing they say this, and say how distance and where each one lives is what's caused the tension.
    Sorry but they survived the summer, and it's not like Rob will spend much time here now anyway, except for promotional purposes and to see his family.
    It must have been a REALLY slow news week for them to make up this utter nonsense, next week and when the New Moon promotion begins they will be couvering there arses and saying they rekindled the love...pfft OK is a load of rubbish

  3. Jorgia Says:

    I agree with "hmmm". OK is a load of rubbish! We can't know if Rob and Kristen are together or not... because they don't tolk about it... But Ok! Magazine is a terrible journal... One time say that they're a couple... another time that they're out... and another that they're engaged... and now??? Pfff.... please! let they in peace! Sorry for my terrible English but I'm Italian... XoXo

  4. Kelli Rae Praest Says:

    This obsession is so annoying, Kristen seems so dead like she's stoned all the time, probably not just cigs she's chain smoking 25/7... I'd hate to do kissing scenes with her but then again the whole cast is a smoking ad. sorry tangent. Anyway, Kristen is a little girl who acts spoiled and whiney when she does interviews I wonder why everyones obsessed with her? and the whole "robsten" thing is so old. like two years old...

  5. loveghosts Says:

    Finally, Hollywood gossip had said false news.. Of course there always bullshit over Robsten all the time.. It has to stop.. Robsten never said about relationship at all.. I cant understand why the papz and others made a bullshit against them, I do strong beleive that Kristen is very very innocent person, period. I still stand by Kristen and Im her side. It need to stoppppppp .. Let it go Geezee the papz and others are mentally people.. man.. Im here to drop you all people a note , be careful what you beleive. there are always bullshit, like pregancy then buy a house then marriage, ohhh please.. Soo only two things I do beleive is videos and interview tv(live with regis and kelly, late night with david, Jay etc.like that I still beleive that also) People, just watch out and becareful what you beleive..Maginize and intenet always bullshits. Becareful what you beleive soo..

  6. LOL Says:

    I've always believed that they were never together, why? Because they never confirmed it themselves!!! What is this crap about "rob winning his true love back". what true love? they were never together!!! EVER!!!!! they are just friends because, rob and kristen have confirmed that they are friends and nothing more.

  7. sassyk Says:

    no matter what i just hope they are HAPPY, apart or together.

  8. Robsessed Says:

    yay rob is single agen lol no think its sad and what r they gonna do about the film i hope they're friends at least! x

  9. Jessica Says:

    Hey I agree with the commenters on here OK MAG. is really confusing and hey I support their marriage if they do! Humm buta, I don't get it though really they were in love all of this time moving in together and now Rob wants to settle down just like in New Moon when he preposes at the end. But, I think its too fast for Kristen just wait a bit she will come around Rob! Hey she is thinkn about u my people say. Kristen should be soo tired after wrapping up Eclipse at 430am last nite so it takes time to understand time and her problems, when she calms down she will be ready to say YES. But, its great Rob that hes tryn to win here back great job! Your perfect for one another. I support their marriage if they do tie da knot.

  10. LOLTZ Says:

    Im so glad that didnt really happen i luv those 2 2ether thay r totally awesome!!!!! But if they were 2 break up then i would hope both would b happy wit dere choice

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