Britney Spears News: Multiple Personality Disorder Diagnosed, Obituary Written
Nothing like starting your day off with a pair of disturbing news items about Britney Spears.
First, TMZ makes a strong claim without citing its sources. The celebrity gossip sites reports that Britney has multiple personalities, including "the British girl." Therefore, when Spears loses the English persona, she has absolutely no idea what she did during the time she assumed that side of herself.
For example, the day Spears didn't show for her deposition? She has no recollection of it.
Considering the sources also cite personalities that include "the weepy girl, the diva [and] the incoherent girl," this sounds like too broad of a diagnosis to us. Aren't all women suffering from these issues?
This must be the personality of Britney Spears that really hates pants.
Secondly, the Associated Press has admitted that it's actually preparing a obituary for Spears. While she's alive!
"We are not wishing it, but if Britney passed away, it's easily one of the biggest stories in a long time," AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington said.
Well, sure. A Megan Fox sex tape would be a big deal, too, but you don't see us writing a press release for it.
"I think one would agree that Britney seems at risk right now," Washington added. "Of course, we would never wish any type of misfortune on anybody and hope that we would never have to use it until 50 years from now⦠but if something were to happen, we would have to be prepared."
January 18th, 2008 3:00 PM
These Personality Differences Only Happen When Hoards Of Paps Are Around Her (Every Time She Steps Out Her Freaking House!) So There Is A Chance It Could Be Because Britney Herself Cannot Deal With It All, So She Becomes These Different Characters Who Are Able To Deal With It.
Just Like Beyonce Does When She Goes On Stage... She Becomes Sasha... Britney Just Becomes All These Different People.
& To Be Honest, If In Anyway It Saves The Real Britney, Then She Should Deffinatly Keep It Up.
January 18th, 2008 3:44 PM
I wish Britney would go to jail!
Then they would order her to
a mental health facility to save her life.
"THE BRITNEY SPEARS JAIL SONG"
.
Sung to the tune of "Jailhouse Rock".
.
"Sittin' here up inside the county jail,
Even with my money I can't buy no bail,
I told the judge I'm sorry but to no avail,
Now I'm cryin' all the time and you can hear me wail!
.
Unlock,
The door to my cellblock,
Just ask my last fan Chris Crock,
I'm Britney, bitch, and I rock!
.
Everywhere I stand or sit are funny smells,
Creepy stains are on all things in county jail,
Where my hangers on have fled it's hard to tell,
All I got's a jumpsuit and a bag of fan mail!
.
Poor me!
I'm a star, why don't they see!
Laws don't apply to Britney,
Chris Crocker, set me free!"
.
Rash Manly 7GFB.COM
"GIMMIE GIMMIE LESS"
.
Sung to the tune of "Gimmie Gimmie More"
.
"Its quite a situation,
Me running 'round like I'm out of control,
I give fits to the nation,
With extra pounds and exposing my roll.
.
Gimmie Gimmie Less, Gimmie Less, Gimmie clothes to wear,
Gimmie Gimmie Less, Gimmie Less, Gimmie pubic hair,
.
Gimmie Gimmie Less, Gimmie Less, Gimmie kids who care,
Gimmie Gimmie Less, Gimmie Less, Gimmie time not bare!
.
When will they see,
That I need to be free,
Rules don't work for me,
Laws aren't for Britney!
.
I drive and I go,
And I dress like a ho,
While I dance on a pole,
"Look At Me" is my goal,
.
Gimmie Gimmie Less, Gimmie Less, Gimmie length of skirt,
Gimmie Gimmie Less, Gimmie Less, Gimmie wearing shirt,
.
Gimmie Gimmie Less, Gimmie Less, Gimmie empty glass,
Gimmie Gimmie Less, Gimmie Less, Gimmie clothes on ass,
,
Gimmie Gimmie Less, Gimmie Less, Gimmie K-Fed sex,
Gimmie Gimmie Less, Gimmie Less, Gimmie lack of X,
.
Gimmie Gimmie Less, Gimmie Less, Gimmie guys who snitch,
Gimmie Gimmie Less, Gimmie Less, Gimmie Britney, bitch!"
Rash Manly 7GFB.COM
Get better Britney,
we want the old Britney back before
it is too late!
January 18th, 2008 3:46 PM
"The Britney Spears Bodyguard Song"
.
Sung to the tune of "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'."
.
"You keep sayin',
That I need to stay home nights,
You keep layin' all your advice on me,
.
When I'm playin',
You watch everything I do,
Just quit payin'
All your attention to me!
.
My brutes don't like your stalkin',
You paparazzi zoo,
And one of these days my brutes are gonna stomp all over you!
.
You keep layin'
In wait to stab me in the back,
You keep me smellin'
Like somethin' less than a rose,
.
You keep sayin'
I'm a train that's jumped off it's tracks,
You stepped and stomped and walked on ten of my toes!
.
My brutes don't like your gawkin',
And takin' pictures too,
And one of these days my brutes are gonna stomp all over you!
.
You keep choosin'
Photos that make me look sleazy,
You say I'm losin'
All my looks and my fame,
.
You think bein' a party girl is easy,
If I look dumb I'm holdin' you to blame!
.
My brutes aren't made for talkin',
That's not what they do,
But one of these days my brutes are gonna stomp all over you!"
.
Rash Manly 7GFB.COM
January 19th, 2008 12:00 AM
All women have these issues? @THG, that was not funny at al...you better dont make fun of women...
January 21st, 2008 11:55 AM
Reading some of the stupid comments and stories surrounding Britney makes me realize how vicious and crazy most of you people are. Yes and of course, all you sensitive mothers and family men in america (that's a laugh) dictating the 'how to's'.... makes Britney look and sound like a brain surgeon next to all you fools.