Britney Spears News: Multiple Personality Disorder Diagnosed, Obituary Written

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Nothing like starting your day off with a pair of disturbing news items about Britney Spears.

First, TMZ makes a strong claim without citing its sources. The celebrity gossip sites reports that Britney has multiple personalities, including "the British girl." Therefore, when Spears loses the English persona, she has absolutely no idea what she did during the time she assumed that side of herself.

For example, the day Spears didn't show for her deposition? She has no recollection of it.

Considering the sources also cite personalities that include "the weepy girl, the diva [and] the incoherent girl," this sounds like too broad of a diagnosis to us. Aren't all women suffering from these issues?

This must be the personality of Britney Spears that really hates pants.

Secondly, the Associated Press has admitted that it's actually preparing a obituary for Spears. While she's alive!

"We are not wishing it, but if Britney passed away, it's easily one of the biggest stories in a long time," AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington said.

Well, sure. A Megan Fox sex tape would be a big deal, too, but you don't see us writing a press release for it.

"I think one would agree that Britney seems at risk right now," Washington added. "Of course, we would never wish any type of misfortune on anybody and hope that we would never have to use it until 50 years from now… but if something were to happen, we would have to be prepared."

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Reading some of the stupid comments and stories surrounding Britney makes me realize how vicious and crazy most of you people are. Yes and of course, all you sensitive mothers and family men in america (that's a laugh) dictating the 'how to's'.... makes Britney look and sound like a brain surgeon next to all you fools.

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All women have these issues? @THG, that was not funny at al...you better dont make fun of women...

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These Personality Differences Only Happen When Hoards Of Paps Are Around Her (Every Time She Steps Out Her Freaking House!) So There Is A Chance It Could Be Because Britney Herself Cannot Deal With It All, So She Becomes These Different Characters Who Are Able To Deal With It.
Just Like Beyonce Does When She Goes On Stage... She Becomes Sasha... Britney Just Becomes All These Different People.
& To Be Honest, If In Anyway It Saves The Real Britney, Then She Should Deffinatly Keep It Up.