Britney Spears News: Multiple Personality Disorder Diagnosed, Obituary Written

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Nothing like starting your day off with a pair of disturbing news items about Britney Spears.

First, TMZ makes a strong claim without citing its sources. The celebrity gossip sites reports that Britney has multiple personalities, including "the British girl." Therefore, when Spears loses the English persona, she has absolutely no idea what she did during the time she assumed that side of herself.

For example, the day Spears didn't show for her deposition? She has no recollection of it.

Considering the sources also cite personalities that include "the weepy girl, the diva [and] the incoherent girl," this sounds like too broad of a diagnosis to us. Aren't all women suffering from these issues?

This must be the personality of Britney Spears that really hates pants.

Secondly, the Associated Press has admitted that it's actually preparing a obituary for Spears. While she's alive!

"We are not wishing it, but if Britney passed away, it's easily one of the biggest stories in a long time," AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington said.

Well, sure. A Megan Fox sex tape would be a big deal, too, but you don't see us writing a press release for it.

"I think one would agree that Britney seems at risk right now," Washington added. "Of course, we would never wish any type of misfortune on anybody and hope that we would never have to use it until 50 years from now… but if something were to happen, we would have to be prepared."

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Britney Spears Biography

Check Please!
Wow. Britney Spears is ... just.... OMG. Wow. Just wow. With this girl, that's about all we can say at this point. Once the biggest... More »
Born
Birthplace
Kentwood, Louisiana
Full Name
Britney Jean Spears

Britney Spears Quotes

I miss it here so much! I love it so much! It makes me it's kinda like bittersweet coming here because I used to live here for two years. And when I come here, it's like, man, I wish I had my apartment here still.

Britney Spears [on New York City]

MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs?

Britney Spears