We’ve never met Joe Wadlington.
But we’d like to buy Joe Wadlington a beer.
Because when this Internet user discovered this month that he was on a date with a former manager at the Olive Garden in Times Square, Joe could not focus on any other piece of information.
He spent the next 90 minutes grilling this suitor on the inner workings of this shocking popular Italian restaurant chain.
And now we’re here to bring you Joe’s exclusive findings…
Hold Everything!
Sorry, but this will now be all we talk about on this date.
Buckle Up, Folks
This is going to a bump, revealing ride.
Think You Job is Rough?
Imagine working at Olive Garden… when the breadsticks actually run out!
Fine! Go Back to Ohio!
Don’t let our amazing tourist attractions hit you on the way out!
Who Goes to the Olive Garden in Times Square?!?
Oh, okay. That makes some sense.
That’s A LOT for a Plate of Spaghetti
Like, so much it should be illegal.
A 2-Hour Wait
For Olive Garden. When there are approximately 67 other restaurants in a two-block radius. Just so you fully grasph what’s going on here.
Worst. Tour Ever.
They would throw you out of Italy if you tried to ask for these dishes there.
Red, White, Blue and Gluttonous
It’s not a crazy question.
We’re All Family Here
One big, happy, full, crazy family with bad taste in eateries.
Any Food Fights?
Nope. Just a knife fight.
Go On…
One thing led to another, you know how these things go while waiting for your next breadsticks basket to arrive…
Keep Going On…
This is the greatest story we’ve ever heard.
How Has This Not Been Made Into a Movie?
Living the High Knife: A True Account of One Night Gone Horribly Wrong at Olive Garden. Come on, it writes itself.
Family Has Its Limits
And those limits end at the sidewalk.
So… Wait… Breadsticks Are More Dangerous Than Knives?
Please explain.
Actually, Don’t Bother
Let’s face it: We totally understand.