Ever since Jenelle Evans fled to Nashville and filed for divorce back in October, David Eason has been living alone on The Land with his daughter Maryssa.
Now, Eason is claiming that the property was recently burglarized -- and it was an inside job!
The former Teen Mom 2 star tells police that the break-in occurred while he was in Nashville for one of his court dates with Jenelle.
Of course, this is David Eason we're talking about, so several details of the story simply don't add up.
And you don't have to look very far to find the disgruntled dad's motivation for lying.
Take a look:
Someone Needs to Be Harrested!
David Eason is playing the victim again. The estranged husband of Jenelle Evans claims his home was burglarized while he was in Nashville for a recent court date.
If you're keeping score, this is the second time that David has reported a robbery in the six weeks since Jenelle moved out on him.
Last month, he told police that one of his dogs was stolen off his land. The purloined pooch has yet to reappear.
This month the roving band of burglars terrorizing rural North Carolina got even bolder, as they apparently made off with David's tools, his "work trailer," his hunting and fishing equipment, and his BOAT!
The Camo Caper
We're not sure what sort of hunting equipment he's referring to, since David is not currently allowed to own guns, but more on that later.
David broke the news of the robbery via a sponsored content clickbait post.
This Effing Guy
That part's not surprising, as David must be getting seriously hard-up for cash at this point. But the claims he makes in the Champion Daily interview? Hoo, boy. Buckle in for some serious BS ...
“When I arrived home on November 27th from Nashville, Tennessee I immediately knew my house had been broken into,” David told the outlet.
They Knew He Had a Door!
“I changed the locks before I left. So whoever broke in had to break in the back door which apparently they had previous experience with," he added.
How Did He Know?
David provided Champion Daily with photos from the aftermath of the robbery -- but as many commenters on his Instagram page pointed out, this is actually the cleanest we've ever seen the place.
Stuff, and Also Belongings
“A lot of stuff was taken, including many of my personal belongings to be missing as well,” David said, somewhat nonsensically.
Oh, Come On
“It’s really low for anyone to steal someone’s tools when that’s what they use to make a living and that’s their livelihood altogether,” David added.
David is referring to the tools he uses to make the knives and bracelets and crap he sells on Facebook. The fact that he expects anyone to believe that's his livelihood is hilarious.
“Not only was the entire house destroyed but the kids rooms look like they were flipped upside down,” David said.
“It took several days to clean it all up when I had already been cleaning for a month try to catch up on things that had been ignored for a while,” Eason continued.
He Went There
Yes, David seems to be suggesting that Jenelle was such a slob that it took him a MONTH to clean the house after she vacated the premises. Shade!
Now, you might be saying to yourself, "Hey, wasn't David always bragging about how secure the land was?" But don't worry -- he has an answer for that.
“Of course the wifi had been cut off so the security cameras were not even working,” he said.
The security system that David is referring to is made up of Ring doorbell cameras -- which do not need to be connected to wi-fi in order to function.
Eason went on to say that the break-in caused him to “live in fear every day.” Now he knows how people who are forced to live with him feel!
Now, David is clearly lying about this, and you might be wondering why he would go to such great lengths to fabricate such an absurd story.
Two Birds, One Stone
As far as we can tell, his motives are two-pronged -- the man is desperate for money, and he wants his guns back.
Not Gonna Happen
David was forced to surrender his weapons as a result of Jenelle's restraining order, and he might think that if he's able to convince the authorities that he "lives in fear," they'll give him his guns back. This is a child's understanding of how the law works.
On top of that, the story allows David to sell a clickbait story and maybe cash in on some insurance claims from his "stolen" goods.
Taking the High Road
“I hope they enjoy my boat, my tools, my work trailer, my hunting and fishing equipment,” David told Champion Daily. “Apparently they needed it more than me.”
“Christmas is coming, she left him broke, he hasn’t worked for years, desperation for cash is setting in!” one commenter wrote on David's Instagram. We'd say they just about nailed it.