• Teri Hatcher is such a freak! If we went on a date with George Clooney, we’d be telling everyone. Does this mean yet another illegitimate Clooney kid is on the way? [The Scoop]
• We don’t care who you are — nobody wants to hear about Ricky Martin‘s nasty shower expeditions over their morning coffee. Or, even suggestions of what those might have been. Family newspaper — psha. [Page Six]
• Ted Kennedy‘s secret love child revealed. Oh, and she had his baby. [R & M]
• From blow queen to drama queen: Kate Moss moves into the Elizabeth Taylor‘s old digs. [The Sun]
• Well, we haven’t read the whole story, or done the math, but Us Weekly‘s suggestion that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston had a shotgun divorce reconfirms our suspicions that Brad was double-dipping. [US]