While Lloyd Grove talking about vibrators is just about the worst thing we could ever imagine, because this zany tale involved Billboard magazine, we feel obligated to give it some coverage.

Two fired Billboard staffers — former EIC Keith Girard and senior editor Samantha Chang — are slapping a $29 million lawsuit on the mag over a “sexual vibrator” that made its way around the office.

Grove picks the “highlights” out of the 52-page document, complete with color photos, which includes the story of executive editor Ken Schlager keeping the vibrator on his bookshelf and turning it on for Chang and another female employee.

And in situations like these, someone always says something that makes no sense. This time it was VNU exec Howard Lander with a double shot of weirdness:

“He would not have a problem” if every employee kept a vibrator in the office. “It is a question of credibility whether the batteries would remain operable for six years after Schlager first took possession of the vibrator.”

If only Cargo had made a similar vibrator policy … maybe they could’ve held out just one more year.

Suit calls vibrator a big hit at Billboard [Lloyd Grove, Lowdown]