• Have you ever gone to Rye Playland and thought you were safe? Well, seeing as you’re putting your life in the hands of a bunch of cracked out carnies, it’s probably not “safe” so much as “really, really dangerous.”
• What comes second to getting hit by a car? Getting slammed into by an inexperienced bicyclist.
• Bloomberg moves to satellite office in Brooklyn; neighbor Lil Kim exclaims, “Fuck ya’all, get out.”
• Next time you “forget to pay for” one of those gross/amazing meat-on-a-stick snacks in Chinatown, and think nobody saw you—think again.
• It’s days like today that make us wonder why we live in a city whose average July/August temperature is “93 and muggy.”
• Put on some obscure 90’s pop music, grab yourselves some cheese fries, and strap on those roller blades Prospect Park, it’s roller rink time!
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