Only In New York 34392

• City to get stricter on noise violations, meaning it’s only a matter of time before that annoying dog next door gets slapped with a $175 fine for disturbing the peace.

• New JP Morgan Chase building said to have a six floor tumor. Fortunately, it’s benign.

• Your neighbor’s building has a squash court, a bowling alley, a sky-lit indoor pool and a Turkish Bath. Meanwhile, all you have is a rodent problem and pre-war plumbing.

• Major companies owe NYC a total of $7 million, however Bloomberg continues to insist the debt is mere pocket change.

• Officials want New Yorkers to save money and ditch bottled water for the tap. BONUS: That extra money you save will be going straight to the 11.5% water bill increase.