After yesterday’s well-received foray into the courtroom drama, we’ve decided to offer you a momentary respite from your grueling day [Ed: of pretending to work] with another entertaining legal snippet.
Today’s installment revolves around Anne Heche’s messy custody battle with her soon-to-be ex-husband, Coleman Laffoon (his real name!) Heche, best known for dating Ellen DeGeneres and having a crazy nervous breakdown, doesn’t pull any punches, going for Laffoon’s jugular with charges that he’s less “stay-at-home dad” and more “unemployed porn freak.”
In a Superior Court declaration filed Monday, Heche, 37, said Coleman Laffoon made “heinous false statements” and was not a proper stay-at-home parent.
When their son, Homer, stays with Laffoon in Los Angeles, he sends the boy to preschool or leaves him with nannies and baby sitters while he “plays pingpong, backgammon and poker and views pornography online,” Heche stated.
“He holds a poker game at his home every Thursday night and allows Homer to participate,” Heche contended.
Meanwhile, Laffoon’s legal counsel did not contest Heche’s claims but rather reminded the court of that time she was found wandering naked in a field, murmuring incoherently about Jebus. Moreover, Laffoon’s lawyers upheld their client’s New Age ‘laissez-faire’ parenting skills, and characterized their legal strategy as the “Kevin Federline” defense.
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