• Christina Aguilera, now a married woman, is renaming herself Maria Bratman. She just didn’t like the ring to “Xtina Bratman.” [The Sun]
• NBC is hoping to reclaim Thursday nights by repositioning My Name Is Earl from Tuesdays to the network’s prime night, as expected. What does that mean for Joey and The Apprentice? They’re being ostracized to as-yet-unchosen (and much less favorable) slots. [AdAge]
• Even testimonials from Jamie Foxx and Snoop Dogg won’t save Stanley Tookie Williams from death row. [LAT]
• President Bush will likely escape jury duty in McLennan County, where his Crawford ranch is located. Something about being preoccupied with running the country. [AP]
• All Paris Hilton wants for Christmas: a convertible red Ferrari 430. Oh, and if you could get rid of her V.D., that’s be super duper too. [The Insider]
• E! gossipist Ted Casablanca isn’t a huge fan of Brokeback Mountain — and the gays, one again, feel betrayed. [The Awful Truth]
• Remember folks, tonight David Letterman welcomes Oprah to the show. Or, more accurately, Oprah begrudgingly agrees to be on the show to promote The Color Purple.