Paul and Heather Mills McCartney are only #6 on Forbes list of the most expensive divorces. Britney and Kevin didn’t even make it; they can’t even split up with dignity.
• Heather Mills McCartney would rather be a double amputee than be married to Paul again.
• So, uh, the American Music Awards took place last night. And all they’ll be remembered for is the Kevin Federline-in-a-crate-thrown-in-the-ocean skit. (View photos from the AMAs at MollyGood.)
• Does Britney Spears even have $29 million to throw into buying a home? And does she even know where Florida is?
• Wait, so publicists lie to gossip columns now? What the fuck.
• Let the countdown begin for when the O.J. Simpson-Judith Regan interview hits YouTube. Then how many minutes will it be before News Corp. demand it taken down?
• Remembering Robert Altman, and every. boldface. name. he. ever. came. in. contact. with.
• Heather Mills McCartney may or may not have once been available for four-figures a night.
• Though it’s yet to be seen if Michael Jackson will actually make it to the World Music Awards, sister Janet is nearly certain a no show. Something about the $400,000 it would cost to invite her.
• Gayle King claims she left her husband because he cheated on her. Not because of her “special relationship” with Oprah.
• Roger Friedman continues his TomKat wedding scoopaganza with news that Penelope Cruz, among others in Tom Cruise’s past, will not be welcome at the nuptials.
• It isn’t Jude’s turn to cry this time around. He’s the one who dumped Sienna Miller, for partying too hard while he tries so hard to, ahem, be a doting dad.
• Tom Ford wanted to spread his man crotch scent beyond the cover of VF.
• Fame-seeking rapper Fabolous proves his namesake by posting bail with $15k in cash. [NYDN]
• O.J. Simpson nets $3.5 million to write a book where he only pretends to have killed Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman. [Scoop]
• Project Runway’s winner was neither the straight-but-gay black guy or the pregnant white mama. [AP]
• Meanwhile, Bravo insists its new interior design show Top Design is not a spinoff of Runway. The formats are so different, minus the celebrity hosts, designing theme, contestant eliminations, and prize package. [Radar]
• Heather Mills ramps up accusations against Paul McCartney, claiming he stabbed her with a broken wine glass. Yes, but did he spill a drop? [Daily Mail]
• Kirsten Dunst flirts up ex-boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal, only to be informed his allegiance lies with Lance and Matthew. [P6]
• Paris Hilton understands she’s a box office flop; refuses to attend own movie premiere. [P6]
• Congrats, Heather Mills McCartney. With J. Crew agreeing to ban fur from its clothing racks, you’ve managed to make a name for yourself aside from “Paul McCartney’s wife.” [Lowdown]
• Nicole Richie was the object of Naomi Campbell’s affection at Bungalow 8 the other night, when the Tyra Banks foe put three feet of space between them before she screamed how much she hated the reality star. Though we’ve got to agree with Naomi: Bitches should get slapped for hanging out with Nicky Hilton. [Lowdown]
• Despite rumors that Fox was going to move American Idol to Wednesday and Thursdays to challenge the powerhouse-that-isn’t on NBC, it’s going to keep the off-pitch fest on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. No need to confuse the tweens. [NYDN]
• If Jayson Blair had his way, Judy Miller would’ve rocked the Times. Though in his drunken state, he put it much more eloquently. [Page Six]
• Wait, fading Christian rockers get drunk, go on TV and make asses out of themselves? [Lowdown]
• Britney Spears has turned to a psychic to pull her through her marriage woes, since having her little sister blog about it hasn’t helped much. [The Scoop]
• If it wasn’t Us Weekly’s Alyssa Shelasky whose canoodling with Nick Lachey ruined his marriage with Jessica Simpson, it must be another brunette. Right? Right? [TMZ]
• Oprah: Denied at Hermes, denied at the country club. [Page Six]
• Lovely. Tori Spelling is procreating. [PR Newswire]