Business Week’s John Riley’s examination of CNBC flub Donny Deutsch is so entertaining, it’s worth examining line by line. Normally we don’t do this because, for one, we’re practically first-grade ESL-ers and two, it’s a shitload of reading and writing.
But in the interest of holding onto your Anna Nicole Smith attention span before Labor Day weekend strolls in, we’re subjecting ourselves to the agony on your behalf.
What JR says: Donny Deutsch is a big guy.
What JR means: Donny Deutsch couldn’t get any more bloated if he were Roseanne’s twin going through menopause.
Not so much by stature, but it????????s his personality.
There’s a reason why “Deutsch” sounds so much like “douche.”
The camera likes him. Witness his daily TV program on CNBC.
If you can find it. Because, if you look at the ratings, nobody else can.
He fills up a room, which is why he has long impressed his clients at Deutsch Advertising.
See above, about the ratings? I’m blatantly lying here.
Now, Donny has tried to get some of this oversized personality into a book, ???????Often Wrong, Never in Doubt,” Collins 2005.
His book may only be 270-something pages, but it’s so inflated with his ego that you’ll have to check it on the plane.
Okay, that’s where the funny ends (i.e. the lede) and the actual Bronx cheering of his book begins — well, except for the “whether created by men, women or monkees” line. As if you needed to be told, that’s where we stop reading. And like most things about and by Donny, we’re going to assume that’s a smartpants decision.