Chic, Meek, Bleak
Thursday, December 11, 2003
Missed Paris opportunities on ‘SNL,’ Overextended lyrics, Blogs gone bad J
Missed opportunities with Paris Hilton on Saturday Night Live
Chic: Donatella Versace (played by Maya Rudolph) throwing a hissy fit at Paris for expecting free shwag
Meek: Nightvision camera of Paris “playing in bed” with Nicole Richie, also played by Rudolph
Bleak: Paris plays skinny Anna Nicole Smith, Horatio Sans plays the fat version
Overextended lyrics
Chic: “Ms. Hilton, you must be worth a trillion bucks”
Meek: “Hey ya!”
Bleak: “They like the smell of it in Hollywood”
Gay blogs gone bad
Chic: SignalShift*
Meek: VividBlurry
Bleak: Spriteboy World
Why you should have your own reality show
Chic: You’re rich, skinny and look better in a bikini than your fat best friend
Meek: You just married a wannabe Britney Spears while trying to revive your own music career
Bleak: You’re a fat, blubbering ex-Playmate
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Trend deaths, Nuptial backlash, Dropped call excuses J
You know the trend is over when
Chic: Gawker mentions it
Meek: Sex and the City features it
Bleak: Ashton Kutcher wears it
Nuptual backlash
Chic: Liza & David
Meek: Nicolas Cage & Lisa Marie Presley
Bleak: J. Lo & Benny A.
Drop it like it’s hot
Chic: Madonna’s PR people
Meek: Web browsing at Starbucks
Bleak: Drinking cosmos
Excuses for faux dropped calls
Chic: I’m rationing my minutes for B-list and above
Meek: Cingular’s coverage just sucks!
Bleak: I went through a tunnel
Apparel needing a public ordinance to prohibit
Chic: Von Dutch-anything
Meek: Trucker hats
Bleak: Visors
Awards the public completely ignores the merit of
Chic: J.D. Power & Associates
Meek: New York Times best-seller list
Bleak: MTV Movie Awards
Price for a NYSE seat
Chic: Enron stocking stuffers
Meek: $1.7 million
Bleak: $37,000
Annoying commercial speech
Chic: Cell phone text spam
Meek: TiVo showcase ads
Bleak: Gap ads above the Lincoln tunnel
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Athletic brands, Celebs to mock, Diets J
Athletic Brands
Chic: Pony
Meek: Adidas
Bleek: Puma
Celebs to mock
Chic: Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey
Meek: Bennifer
Bleek: Courtney Love
Diets
Chic: Eating
Meek: South Beach
Bleek: Atkins
Communication
Chic: 2-way cell phones
Meek: Texting
Bleek: AIM
Erotica
Chic: Cell phone camera porn
Meek: Internet porn
Bleek: 900 numbers
Civic responsibility
Chic: Pointing out fashion don’ts
Meek: Volunteering at Big Brother/Big Sister
Bleek: Donating to Salvation Armani
Are you a drag queen?
Chic: Jessica Simpson (circa 2003 MTV Video Music Awards)
Meek: Kelly Osbourne (circa release of Shut Up album)
Bleek: Janet Reno (circa history of woman)
Making a style comeback
Chic: Ladies’ long gloves, circa 1920s
Meek: The 80s
Bleek: Jewfro
Retiring series
Chic: Sex and the City
Meek: Friends
Bleek: Seinfeld
Hipster must-haves
Chic: Cuban-style hats
Meek: Trucker hats
Bleek: Vintage tees
