Making Friends With Fox 38504

If Cody Willard???s grandfather could see him now, he would not be proud. At least that???s what the Fox Business Network anchor fears.

Twice last night at the Fox Business Network launch party, inside the Temple of Dendur at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Willard mentioned that his grandfather, who was a cowboy, would be disappointed in his grandson for needing make up before going on air. But what is Willard to do? As he said, ???Fox Business causes bad skin.???

But the best way to spot a Fox Business Network anchor is not by blemishes, which were well-concealed, but lack of body fat. That, and every female Fox Business anchor we spoke to made a point of touching our arm during the conversation. It felt so intimate???like we were real friends! Perhaps it was to stay warm? Or a lesson they learned in refinery school?

Alas, we???re not real friends. These girls would have eaten us in high school, assuming they ate in high school. And assuming we went to the same all-girls preparatory school. We didn’t.

But even if these anchors were never journalism geeks, what???s the harm? As Nicole Petallides, a FBN vixen with highlights likely retouched weekly, says, ???Is looking good a bad thing???? Certainly not! And neither is investing in Altria.

???I enjoy watching a channel that looks good,” she added, joining a list that includes Barry Diller, Jeff Zucker, Bob Iger, and, oh, Rupert Murdoch, who began the evening with a speech that congratulated Roger Ailes, who delivered a speech that congratulated Rupert Murdoch.

As for taking over CNBC, the icy Petallides says, ???Why not???? Ambition formed as a rhetorical question, yum!

Forbes.com vet Jenna Lee, a morning anchor and early riser, let us in a little secret from the Fox Business makeup department: Visine. Coincidentally, we’ve been using Visine for late night jaunts to White Castle.

Elsewhere, the only on-air talent not avoiding carbs was Happy Hour co-host Rebecca Gomez. “I???m not going to diet,??? Gomez, who is not fat, says. Her boyfriend agreed: ???She can really eat,??? he said. He didn’t happen to follow that up with a remark about how svelte she looked.

Even though he???ll let the make up people near his skin, Happy Hour’s Willard is also determined not to let TV change him. He was the only person at the event – besides us – wearing jeans. Our excuse? We’re press. His? ???This is me.” Then again, Willard is Fox???s resident cowboy, even if his grandfather wouldn???t think so. After a recent Counting Crows concert – who, coincidentally, performed at the party – with Gomez and some other FBN cohorts, he was the only one who wanted to go out afterward. Williard says he’s Fox’s resident party boy, though their marketing department may have come up with that.

But based on his peer group, Willard might be right. But is he worried such a self-aggrandizing comment might make him sound like a douche? ???There???s nothing wrong with being a little douchey sometimes,??? he replied. Ah hah.

Even though he wants to do responsible deeds like invest in the Sudan, Willard isn???t totally reckless. Like everyone else that night, he does have at least one thing keeping him up at night: ???The only mafia I???m scared of is Rupert Murdoch???s.”

Hey, us too: Great party, Rupert!

[Photo Credit: AP, 2MK Studio]