"You are the baddest b!tch ever, badder than the animals who currently populate your wardrobe." – Anika, bowing down to the greatness that is Cookie
On Empire Season 2 Episode 3, Lucious may have gotten the last laugh at the end, but does anyone really think Cookie Lyon is down for the count?
If anything, she showed she’s even more formidable as an opponent and record company shot-caller. Where do we even begin with this woman?
Maybe with the fact that she walks into her son’s pad and declares, "Hakeem, get yo black a$$ up! You know you gotta be on Sway in the morning!"
Or the fact that her potential girl group members are expected to do push-ups (real push-ups) in stilettos while berated about Beyonce’s work ethic.
No, no, let’s go with the scene at the dinner table.
The night Lucious got sprung from the slammer, he invited the family – 60 percent of which has deserted him for their own label – over for dinner.
His motivation? To "eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow, we war." That is … unless they "dismantle this little Lyon Dynasty and all will be forgiven."
Cookie and Hakeem insisted they don’t need him, Lucious called the duo’s bluff, saying they can’t eat without him because all they have is pride.
Which he adds, tastes chewy and disgusting.
Then Cookie zinged him with this comeback:
"I’m always gonna eat … just not with you."
Then she yanked the tablecloth out from under the dishes – slowly, but purposely – as she peaced out in a calm but deliberate display of EFF YOU.
Game on, then.
Lucious’ next move was to call in a favor from Anika to sabotage Lyon Dynasty, but given her propensity to meet with all parties, whose side is she on?!
Andre, meanwhile, is desperate to get back into his good graces, and pitches him on acquiring a radio company with access to every urban market.
When that didn’t work, Dre told him that Rhonda is pregnant (after he told Cookie, and which still feels like might be a red herring). Lucious’ reaction?
Fear, initially, given the flashbacks to his own bipolar mom, then bitterness, that his first-born son would actually try to use this to get what he wants.
Guilty as charged, Dre? Again, something tells us that baby inside her isn’t real and this is about to boil over into a truly epic plot twist or 10.
If you watch Empire online and see next week’s promo, he and Rhonda are caught in a thoroughly insane situation, for what that’s worth.
The music this week was awesome, even if Jamal performing on Leviticus catwalk without Hakeem (but with Pitbull) felt wrong somehow.
Speaking of ‘Keem, though, he was unreal, spitting mad game as he crashed the party with Timbaland (executive produces Empire music).
Shown up and publicly at that, Lucious took Dre’s advice, buying the radio company and signing Valentina out from under Cookie and ‘Keem.
Just moments before their radio debut, too. That was cold s–t, but not even Lucious Lyon can bat 1.000 when it comes to recruiting artists.
Earlier, Jamal failed to sign Freda Gatz, a young rapper Lucious covets for the Empire, then got jealous at just how much Lucious cares.
Lucious then approached her personally on the streets, but gunshots broke out during a rap battle, obviously, and she remains unsigned.
Finally, he came face-to-face with the prosecutor in his case, who informed him that his case is still open and she WILL take him down.
She boasted, curiously, that she had Vernon Turner stashed away where he couldn’t get at him. Hopefully no one asks Dre about that …