The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Sip, See, Sing, Bitch

by at . Comments

How did Phaedra Parks and Apollo outdo Kate Middleton and Prince William on The Real Housewives of Atlanta this week? Let's find out from our show correspondent, who has reviewed the latest installment of this Bravo series...

Phaedra prepped for Aydan's baby debut by hosting a (traditional Southern?) "Sip & See" party. Not only is Phaedra a lawyer/businesswoman/Renaissance Goddess, but she's also Atlanta's answer to Martha Stewart. 

Chatting with Apollo, she worried that her guests may just be attending the party for gossip material.  Apparently, Atlanta is "Haterville" and since Phaedra and Apollo are too fabulous for words, they're on everyone's hit list.

Cynthia and 50-year-old Peter had a tense dinner at home.  Sipping wine from a bottle with a twist-off cap (because nothing says elegance like some Julio Gallo wine), 50-year-old Peter shared his worries with Cynthia. 

Uptown, 50-year-old Peter's supper club, is in trouble since investors for the club are dropping like flies. Discussing their financial troubles over a glass of wine, Cynthia advised 50-year-old Pete to sell the club in order to have enough money for their wedding.  Prickly Pete bristled at the idea and Cynthia started to fester.

Over at Phaedra's shindig, Dwight introduced the "royal family." All the ladies were in attendance.  Even Kim showed up to make nice with Phaedra.  Kim fawned over baby Aydan and all of Phaedra's worries about Kim creating drama were for naught.  Phaedra had a long chat with Kim on the terrace. 

Phaedra grilled Kim about being a registered nurse and Kim actually pulled out the paperwork to prove it.  If the state of Connecticut saw fit to license Kim, then that's good enough for Queen Phaedra.  Let the "two-facedness" cease!

Nene checked in at 11 Alive and started taping some station IDs and taglines for her "Keeping It Real With Nene" segments.

Kim and Sweetie started packing for Kim's upcoming promo tour with Kandi.  Kim managed to weasel Sweetie into giving her B-12 shots in preparation for Kim's "rigorous" tour schedule.  Fugly Brielle had a breakdown when she found out Mom and Sweetie will both be gone for seven days.  Kim explained to her that Mam is now a big pop star and has to make a living.  Brielle should be thankful for a week of peace and quiet.

Kandi and Kim had their first radio show interview in Charlotte.  It's been 10 years since Kandi's last solo album, so the record label thought smaller clubs were the best way to start.

Don Juan, Kandi's tour manager, rubs Kim the wrong way.  Kim doesn't like the regiment imposed by Don Juan.  Comparing it to a military operation, ADD-stricken Kim doesn't like rules and regulations thrown her way.  Kim especially doesn't like the tour bus "situation."  Bunks?  No smoking?  Barely enough room to pee, much less breathe?  Here comes trouble.

Nene brought Brent to her Jermaine Dupri interview for moral support.  Nene towered over the monosyllabic "little munchkin."  Instructed by Jermaine's publicist to not ask anything about Janet Jackson, Nene struggled to hold a decent conversation with him.

Finally, the ice was broken when Nene brought up Kim's "Tardy for the Party." Jermaine then took Nene on a tour of the house. When Nene took off her seven-inch heels, she was almost the same height as Jermaine. She shot hoops with him.

Stopping at the Thirsty Beaver Saloon for a drink, Don Juan managed to further piss off Kim by misinterpreting the lyrics of "The Ring Didn't Mean A Thing."  Big Poppa, adultery and cheating are not topics to be discussed around pristine Kim.  How dare Don Juan ruin Kim's tour buzz!

Cynthia and 50-year-old Peter got counseling from Hill Harper.  Not only is he the CSI: NY guy, but a relationship expert as well.  Maybe he can dissect what's wrong with these two because all is not well in La La land.  Cynthia wants her money back from her investment in Uptown and Prickly Pete is upset that Cynthia can't grasp the concept of what marriage and compromise mean.  This does not bode well.  Cynthia and Prickly Pete's lack of communication may end up jeopardizing Cynthia's dream wedding.

Kandi and Kim arrived at Club Tempo for their big gig.  Kim ran around like a chicken without a head, chain-smoking and boozing it up, while Kandi just wanted a few moments of peace before the show.  Good luck with that!  Kim didn't seem to realize that this is not the happy-go-lucky-love-the-tranny-queen-Kim gay crowd.  This is hip-hop and hip-hop don't play.

But surprise, surprise, Kim acted like Kim, went off-course and the crowd still loved her!  Oh yeah... and Kandi did an acapella version of "Haven't Loved Right" and floored Club Tempo as well.
Next stop: Orlando.  But not before some more whining from Kim regarding the bunks.  Life on the road is such a bitch!


The Real Housewives of Atlanta Quotes

[to Kenya Moore] You best hope nothing happens to me, because you might not have a job. I'm your storyline. I sustain your career . . . I built you, so stop playing games.

Apollo Nida

[to Kenya Moore] "You a sneaky, trifling slut."

Phaedra Parks