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What the heck is wrong with Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr?!?

Don’t they know they’re supposed to call the paparazzi before getting hitched, make a huge deal over their wedding and sell the photos to tabloids for buckets of cash?!?

Instead, just a month after getting engaged, the pair snuck away and got married this week. The model and actor are already on their honeymoon, as Kerr released the following statement, explaining why she’s canceling an appearance at the Australian department store David Jones:

Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom Pic

“David Jones very graciously released me during this period so we could celebrate an intimate ceremony and honeymoon together. I’m very much a part of the David Jones Family and I am very committed to my role. I am enormously grateful to David Jones to have been given this time to enjoy such a special moment in my life.”

Bloom and Kerr started dating in late 2007. We’re incredibly happy for them, especially because we can officially start using their fun couple’s nickname:

Give it up for Kloom!!!