Jenelle Evans … just … bless her heart.
She can be completely awful, of course, and she does awful things all the time, but sometimes those things are less about her character and more about her intellect.
Which is to say that sometimes she does horrible things not because she’s being malicious, but because she’s just kind of dumb, honestly.
Take, for instance, her tweets from earlier this week about her husband, David Eason, and how he can’t be racist because he’s black.
And before you ask, yes, she actually said that …
Honey, No
This whole mess began when we learned that MTV was doing us a solid and airing footage from last year’s infamous balloon incident — the thing where David popped a bunch of balloons with a knife at a New Year’s Eve special they filmed.
Who Cares?
Jenelle tried to play it off, like she doesn’t have any problem with the world seeing how unhinged her husband is. Which, come to think of it, is probably true.
Real Subtle
This barely even makes sense, because obviously she isn’t “doing fantastic” — her husband got fired and her future with Teen Mom 2 still isn’t secure. Though we do believe that MTV is upset with her and is no longer interested in trying to give her a good edit, which is why they’re finally airing the baloon thing in the first place.
Sure, Jenelle
Because everyone knows that when you’re happy and content and loving life, you tell the internet about it every single chance you get. That’s obviously how that works.
What
Next — and this is just too great — someone asked her how her “racist and homophobic husband” was doing. Jenelle’s answer?
LMAO
“My husband is black, but yeah ok sure. Lmao.”
Seriously, What?
David Eason is black? Since when? What is she even trying to say?
Oh, OK
Another Twitter user told her that David is not black, and Jenelle hit back with “Lmao less than 1% but he is.” She explained that he did one of those Ancestry.com DNA tests and found out that “he has Senegal and North African in him.”
Make It Stop
To silence the haters, she posted the “proof” on her Instagram — the test results that show that David could possibly have ancestors from Senegal and North Africa. Note how she added that since David “has African in him,” precious little Ensley does too.
Just … Ugh
There are so many things wrong with everything that she said here that it’s hard to know where to start, but we have to try, don’t we?
Problem One
David has 1% Senegalese ancestry and less than 1% North African. Both of these are listed in the “low confidence regions” section of his test results, so there’s a chance this isn’t even accurate.
Problem Two
If those percentages are accurate, obviously that doesn’t make him black. Obviously. Having less than 2% African ancestry does not make you a black person.
Problem Three
Also, not everyone in Africa is black? “African” and “black” aren’t synonyms.
Problem Four
Even if the results are accurate, that certainly doesn’t mean that he can’t be racist.
Backlash
Lots of people were kind enough to let Jenelle know how stupid all of this is, and she deleted her tweets.
“But Look, Black Friends!”
Then David came to his own defense to explain that while his Ancestry results may not prove he’s incapable of racism, the fact that he has black friends surely will! For real, he shared that photo, captioned it “This is a picture from my wedding day, what do y’all think lmao?” And then he literally tagged all of his black friends.
Digging the Hole Deeper
Two days after all of this, Jenelle got back on Twitter and tried to say that the whole thing was a joke, asking “Why is everyone taking this so seriously?! ? it was a joke…. I knew you guys would trip.” Because that’s believable.
You Don’t Say!
As hard as it may be to believe, nobody bought it.
All of a Sudden …
Funny how that worked out!
Not So Funny
Even if she is telling the truth, not a great joke, Jenelle.
Glorifying Ignorance
Let’s not expect too much of this girl, OK? It hurts less if you keep expectations low.
Grow Up
Short answer: not any time soon. Long answer: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL ……
The Truth
Shh, no one tell her!
Dead Ass Serious
Oh, guys, you know she was doing this. You just know she was.
Sigh
So that’s where we are now. She said that her husband is black because he took one of those gimmicky DNA tests and may have less than 2% African ancestry, then when people called her out on her ignorance, she said it was a joke, which is an ignorant comment in itself. A week in the life of Jenelle Evans, right?