Everyone’s Betting On JLo’s Pregnancy, Except JLo 38491

Breaking: Despite her best efforts to convince us that she was merely retaining water and overeating, JLo and her thinspirational husband might actually be “expecting!” We’re shocked too, but Us Weekly nails the exclusive, “confirming” the pregnancy by quoted TRL host Damien Fahey as saying, “If I were a betting man, I???d definitely bet she was pregnant.”

For her part, Lopez and Marc Anthony continue to maintain their vows of secrecy, holding off on any announcements until they’re through milking the attention, scoring lucrative cover deals and drumming up publicity.

Which is to say, nothing’s really “official” until her water breaks.