Bachelor Nation, it's time to breathe a deep sigh of relief.
After months of Bachelor spoilers, rumors, speculation, false starts, and dead ends, we finally know exactly how things play out in the final episodes of Peter Weber's season set to air next week.
Before we proceed any further, a few words of warning:
1. Yes, this article contains The Bachelor spoilers. In fact, that's pretty much its entire reason for being. So if you wish to be surprised by what happens on Monday and Tuesday night, read no further.
2. There are some surprises in the season finale.
3. Sadly, the twists aren't nearly as shocking as Chris Harrison led us to expect.
Anyway, with gratitude to Bachelor spoiler god Reality Steve for his intel, here are the spoilers you've been waiting for.
For starters, as so many have already predicted, leading man Pilot Peter is dating Madison Prewett.
Note that we said "dating," not engaged.
It seems that Madison and Peter are taking things slowly and attempting to build a relationship despite their differences in "values."
(Read: Peter, as we know, is prone to thinking with his peter, and Madison is not a fan of this tendency).
At one point, Madi was so put off by Peter's recent behavior that she took herself out of the running entirely.
On Monday's episode, the still-reeling, 23-year-old Madison arrived fashionably late for the rose ceremony.
On next week's episode, she won't show up at all.
According to Reality Steve, Madison self-eliminates and returns to the States. That's when it gets really good ...
Peter chases after the woman he loves, but get this:
He doesn't break up with Hannah Ann Sluss first!
No, Weber spins some BS about needing to listen to his heart and speak with both women before he makes a final decision.
Of course, he doesn't learn that Madison bolted until just before the rose ceremony. Funny how that works out.
He had presumably already made up his mind before handing out that final rose, only he'd lost half the options.
So in all likelihood, the decision to drag Hannah Ann back to the U.S. in a state of limbo was a strategic one.
Peter didn't want to risk losing both women, and producers didn't want to lose the devastating rose ceremony climax.
You know, the emotional moments where one woman gets proposed to and the other finalist gets dumped.
The entire season - so many weeks of filler - is pretty much built around that scene and its aftermath.
Call it cruel and unusual punishment, or call it ratings gold. Either way, it's part and parcel of the franchise.
Anyway, we suppose it's fitting that Pilot Pete's season should feature so much intercontinental travel.
But for all the exotic locales, it seems the climax will play out in Madison's home state of Alabama.
That's where Peter will successfully convince the young Auburn graduate to give him a second chance.
"In the end, Peter and Madison are together right now, but not engaged," Steve wrote on his blog today.
"We will see footage of how it all came to be after filming in Australia ended, because that’s when his 'courtship' of Madison had to happen."
"From everything I was told, this happened in Alabama."
So yeah, Hannah Ann basically gets dumped twice on two separate continents. Talk about adding insult to injury.
We suppose that's a Bachelor first, at least. Previously unheard of Bachelor History, as Chris Harrison would say.
Speaking of Chris, and his claim that even Peter doesn't know how this season will end, well ...
Here comes the twist you've been waiting for. Kinda.
"Peter is going to propose to her officially during the live show and he doesn’t know if she will accept," Steve reports.
"Apparently he has no idea if she will say yes," he adds.
"Hell, maybe he’ll get cold feet and not go through with it."
So to be fair to emcee Chris, it seems we do have some major twists and turns ahead of us next week.
However, that long-infamous scene of Peter's mom crying and begging him to "bring her home to us"?
That's not one of them.
It seems that was filmed during WEEK ONE, when Madison met Peter's parents at their vow renewal ceremony.
Those producers are clever, man. And jeez, Mom, way to get inside in the guy's head right from the jump!
As for who Peter is tearfully apologizing to in the trailer, that's unclear, but it looks like the obvious conclusion.
Steve says he can confirm the scene in question was shot in a California house that was rented by the show.
In other words, he's almost certainly talking to Hannah Ann, who has every right to be very pissed off.
Anyway, some of those details remain a bit hazy. And there may be some surprises in the week ahead.
But in the end, the spoiler king says there's one thing he's 100% certain of: Peter got Kelley Flanagan pregnant.
Just kidding. We love that rumor, though.
"Peter and Madison are together right now, but not engaged," he writes, unsure if that'll change Tuesday night.
Our premature congratulations go out to the happy couple! Check out the iconic trailer for the finale below.
UPDATE: So it sounds like Reality Steve isn't quite as certain of the outcome as we thought!
"Just gonna put this out there. Since my post this morning, I’ve been on my phone non stop. Plenty of things being said. The whole thing is a mess. Being told so many different things now. Original sources sticking by what they said. New sources saying that’s not it. It’s madness!" the spoiler master tweeted on Thursday.
"One thing that I can absolutely confirm again is that this ending does not involve anyone other than Madison and Hannah Ann. It involves both of them and that’s it. No producer, no Hannah Brown, no Kelley - nothing like that. But there is definitely some weirdness going on."
We don't know about you, but we could use a little weirdness after that snoozefest of a season!