Chrissy Teigen Admits to Postpartum Depression: Read Her Essay

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Those who follow Chrissy Teigen on social media likely think of the model as a generally funny and upbeat individual.

She has no problem getting drunk and Tweeting a photo of her stretch marks, for instance.

Or grabbing her boobs for all to see while on board one of the most famous amusement park rides on the planet.

But Teigen opens way up in the new issue of Glamour, admitting that she has suffered from an illness that afflicts millions of women every year... even if you'd never know by looking at her.

Chrissy Teigen Glamour Cover

"I'll just say it: I have post partum depression," Teigen wrote on Instagram as a preview of this cover story, adding:

"So much love to @glamourmag for letting me share something that was eating me up inside for months and months.

"One of the most amazing things about social media is the ability to interact candidly with friends and fans and it felt so weird knowing what I was going through but not really feeling like it was the right place to speak on it.

"I've always felt genuinely close to all of you and I'm insanely relieved you now know something that has been such a huge part of me for so long."

Teigen then linked to the Glamour article itself.

At the outset of the piece, the wife of John Legend explains how she felt an unexpected sadness soon after giving birth to daughter Luna last year.

She initially chalked this feeling up to her living situation; she, Legend and their child were residing in a hotel while their home was under construction.

Chrissy Teigen Ponders Life

"But I was different than before," she wrote.

"Getting out of bed to get to set on time was painful. My lower back throbbed; my shoulders - even my wrists - hurt. I didn't have an appetite.

"I would go two days without a bite of food, and you know how big of a deal food is for me. One thing that really got me was just how short I was with people."

Typically a nice person and an outgoing person, "I couldn't figure out why I was so unhappy," Teigen shares.

She went on to detail her experience as follows:

I blamed it on being tired and possibly growing out of the role: 'Maybe I'm just not a goofy person anymore. Maybe I'm just supposed to be a mom.'

John would sleep on the couch with me, sometimes four nights in a row. I started keeping robes and comfy clothes in the pantry so I wouldn't have to go upstairs when John went to work.

There was a lot of spontaneous crying.

Teigen couldn't figure out why she was in so much physical pain, either.

"John sat next to me. I looked at my doctor, and my eyes welled up because I was so tired of being in pain. Of sleeping on the couch. Of waking up throughout the night. Of throwing up. Of taking things out on the wrong people. Of not enjoying life. Of not seeing my friends.

"Of not having the energy to take my baby for a stroll."

Chrissy Teigen After the Globes

Because this subject matter is so personal, we're just going to keep quoting Teige word for word.

"My doctor pulled out a book and started listing symptoms. And I was like, 'Yep, yep, yep.' I got my diagnosis: postpartum depression and anxiety. (The anxiety explains some of my physical symptoms.)".

Finally diagnosed, Teigen started to take an antidepressant and to be honest with people when asked what was the matter.

"I felt like everyone deserved an explanation, and I didn't know how else to say it other than the only way I know: just saying it.

"It got easier and easier to say it aloud every time. (I still don't really like to say, 'I have postpartum depression,' because the word depression scares a lot of people. I often just call it 'postpartum.' Maybe I should say it, though. Maybe it will lessen the stigma a bit.)."

Concluded the model, hoping to send a positive message to other new mothers:

"I just didn't think it could happen to me. I have a great life. I have all the help I could need: John, my mother (who lives with us), a nanny. But postpartum does not discriminate. I couldn't control it.

"And that's part of the reason it took me so long to speak up: I felt selfish, icky, and weird saying aloud that I'm struggling. Sometimes I still do...

"I know I might sound like a whiny, entitled girl. Plenty of people around the world in my situation have no help, no family, no access to medical care. I can't imagine not being able to go to the doctors that I need...

"I look around every day and I don't know how people do it. I've never had more respect for mothers, especially mothers with postpartum depression."

In the end, Teigen says she still goes some days without leaving the house.

She knows she's lucky. She knows she's well off and living in somewhat of a Hollywood bubble.

But she's just like millions of other women when it comes to this deeply personal health issue.

"Physically, I still don't have energy for a lot of things, but a lot of new moms deal with this," she writes.

"Just crawling around with Luna can be hard. My back pain has gotten better, but my hands and wrists still hurt. And it can still be tough for me to stomach food some days.

"But I'm dealing."

We admire Chrissy Teigen for being so open and honest and we wish her the best.

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