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Forget America’s Independence Day.

A new report in The National Enquirer claims that Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis are set to celebrate their own independence from the country of their origin.

The stars will soon say “toddle-oo to the red, white and blue” and move to London, a source alleges, explaining the reasoning behind this life change:

Go Dodgers!

“Mila is thrilled to leave Los Angeles because she doesn’t think it’s big enough for her, Ashton and Demi Moore… she’s also pushing Ashton to cool his friendship with Demi’s daughter and she’s sure living across the pond will take care of that.”

It’s possible. All we know is that we’d do pretty much anything Reddit’s hottest woman asks.

The tabloid goes on to say that Kutcher will sell his home in Los Angeles as soon as his contract is up on Two and a Half Men.

“He and Mila are already house hunting in London. They’re so excited to start their English adventure,” claims the unnamed source who totally exists and is not making this story up.