A group of Dallas Cowboys fans are petitioning President Barack Obama to remove ineffective owner Jerry Jones, according to a hilariously true report.
The Dallas Morning News was the first to notice that a man from Ft. Benning, Ga., petitioned President Obama to remove Jones from power over the Cowboys.
The petition, housed on the White House website (as is the big Texas secession petition) and filed under the category of “Human Rights,” urges the following:
“We, the Citizens of the Great State of Texas, and Dallas Cowboys fans worldwide, have been oppressed by an over controlling, delusional, oppressive dictator for way too long.”
“Request the Executive Branch’s immediate assistance in removal of owner and GM Jerry Jones.”
“His incompetence and ego have not only been an extreme disappointment for way too long, but moreover, it has caused extreme mental and emotional duress.”
As of this post, 412 U.S. citizens have signed the petition.
Only 24,588 more and Obama will get involved; any petition filed with 25,000 signatures on the White House’s We The People website is guaranteed a response.
Jones has faced a great deal of criticism for his management of the team that now has a 5-6 record for the 2012 season, which it began with high expectations.
This is true every season for Dallas, though the team has won exactly one playoff game since 1996.
Even so, it’s doubtful the Prez will intervene in any case. If he did, he’d probably have to fire the cop that arrested Amanda Bynes too. Where would be draw the line?!
At the same time, it’s hard to blame disgruntled fans for taking their gripes to the highest office in the land, as it probably would take a Presidential act to oust Jerry Jones.