Actor Jason London was dazed, confused and worse for the wear Sunday night after being arrested for assault and disorderly conduct at a bar in Scottsdale, Ariz.
He allegedly sneezed on and then slugged a fellow patron.
London, showing "extreme signs of alcohol impairment," started cursing at the paramedics who were trying to assess him for injuries inside the Martini Ranch.
Police say London tried to shove another officer, who then kneed the actor's outer right thigh to get him to sit down. The fun/insanity did not end there.
After London had ultimately refused medical treatment, the 40-year-old actor allegedly replied, "F--k you! You won't do s--t for me, you f--king hillbilly!"
"I know what you f--king are! F--k you; I want to go home!"
En route to the police station, London continued to rant, asking the arresting officer if he liked being a cop and becoming irate when the officer didn't answer.
"Guess what, f----t? I f--king love this!" he exclaimed. "I f--king own you guys so hard. I'm rich and a motherf--king famous actor! F--king look me up, bitch!"
"It smells like s**t in your car and your breath smells like diarrhea," he added, then leaned to the left and crapped in his pants, adding "I told you I'm happy as s**t."
When they tried to question London at the stadium, officers say he flipped him off with both hands and stuck his tongue out, They asked if he understood his rights.
"I'm a f--king movie star, I know what the f--k to do!" was his reply.
Police eventually called London's wife, Sophia, to inform her of her husband's arrest, to which she replied, "I know he's an a--hole when he drinks."
That settles that. London was cited for assault and disorderly conduct and was released early Monday after joining THG's Celebrity Mug Shots Hall of Fame.