Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Recap: Like Poop in a Can!

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Here Comes Honey Boo Boo aired an episode last night that focuses on pregnant, pageants and the equivalent of poop in a can.

Yup, it was just another evening in Georgia with Alana Thompson and family last night, as we've rundown the most noteworthy scenes and nauseating one-liners below, grading them on THG's patented +/- curve....

Honey Boo Boo Picture

Chickadee (aka Anna) spends a medicated night in the hospital due to contractions she describes as pain "going through my vajayjay." MINUS 12 for lack of originality. We'd have accepted anything clam-related here.

Alana then asks a bunch of questions to her bedridden sister at home, mostly focusing on her own tummy incidents of the past: "When my belly hurts, it's usually gas or too many chicken nuggets." PLUS 6 for making us miss the innocent life of being a child.

Honey Boo Boo proceeds to say she hopes for a family one day. A very big family. "I want to have thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands." MINUS 47 because... no. God, no, no no, please no.

Pumpkin (aka Lauryn), Chubbs (Jessica) and Mama (June) all took their final weigh-ins, with Pumpkin gaining eight pounds, Jessica losing three and June losing one. PLUS 9 because, hey, at least some weight was miraculously lost.

The family goes to a water park and June can't get out of her tube. PLUS 4 because of course she can't.

"This life jacket makes me look like a chunky lemon," says Alana, earning MINUS 10 for simply stating the obvious.

June shows off her "forklift foot." ZERO POINTS in either direction because we couldn't bear to look.

June prepares her daughter for the upcoming Rock Star pageant, telling her to "make sure you show your pretty tanned belly to the judges." MINUS 8 for lying to a child. The belly is neither pretty nor naturally tanned, as we saw Alana getting sprayed and were forced to hear this quote from her:

"Spray tan is like poop in a can."

Alana wins Queen in her age division, but not Rock Star Grand Supreme at the pageant. Still, PLUS 13 for this positive outlook: "If you're a champion, you're still a winner."

TOTAL: -37.

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Shame on people who judge this family. You've never farted before? Or swore? TLC is purposely leaving in parts like coughing and farting just to make them look bad. I fart every single day. Who gives a fuck if they're classy? I bet you all aren't either in your own personal time or with your family. The little girl isn't a trophy child, she's her moms little girl, every mother says their child is beautiful and wants to show people her baby and brag about her. These people seem very loving to me. Maybe I'm just not shallow judging people by their weight and looks. Shame on you people who mock this family, you are way worse than they are.

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To Iamcurious, who are u to call this family pitiful & ignorant. Sounds like you are a lil jealous your boring life isnt being viewed and loved by millions. This family is doing what they love to do and being themselves. And even better...gettin paid while doing it. I suggest u turn the channel and let the rest of us enjoy it. Country to the bone. Thats all. Dont hate!!

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I absolutely love this show and this family. Anyone who would sincerely sit down and watch the show carefully without the rude and unnecessary comments to influence them will realize that it's a show worthy of attention, it's joyful, it gets back to basics, it's genuine and fun. It's OBVIOUS that this child has a great time in life, lots of love around her, and is also a very bright kid. Stop being adult morons who apparently enjoy kicking around a 7 yr old. That says a lot more about you than it ever will about them.

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I love honey boo boo I think she is such a cutie with a big personality her family is hilarious and don't care what people think its 100% real 100% of the time and that's rare in reality shows these days

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Alex - "...and is just being who she wants to be." Nope! She's being what her mother wants her to be. She's mom's trophy kid, her mom's way of showing the world, "I may be homely as a stump, but my child is beautiful." What a shame that's all her child means to her.

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The child is as homely as her mother and aunt are - until they smear paint all over her face. If you put all that paint on Ozzie Osbourne, he'd look as good - but at least without all the crap on his face, he's still a real person. I doubt the Honey Boo Boo family knows what REAL is. They sure don't know what's valuable in life.

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What kind of a person calls a little girl a w****, that itself is disgusting. While they may not be the classiest family in the world I don't believe that gives you the right to say such mean and hurtful things. This girl is six years old and is just being who she wants to be. There is nothing wrong with that. However, there is something very wrong with an adult calling a child such a mean and hurtful name. Maybe this family isn't the one that needs to take a look in the mirror and change themselves. The fact that human beings are able to say such mean things and have no shame whatsoever is sad.

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I think this is a happy family that would be doing exactly the same things if the cameras were not there. If they are making money off this show, more power to them! They will at least have a source of income they would not have had otherwise. I think Alana is a sweet little girl and deserves what she has…a loving Mother and Father.

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Its obvious that these kids are loved. They may not be the most sophisticatred bunch but they seem happy being themselves. They are laughing all the way to the bank! Goooo thompsons! Ha ha haters!

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I love this show! I don't find them "disgusting" or "disgraceful" at all! They are actually quite tolerant (ie. the gay uncle and pig) June doesn't bad mouth the other little contestants, honey boo boo claps and cheers for all the other girls and actually enjoys the contest. She has fun living her life and is surprisingly far more tolerant and kind then most adults in her area. Bottom line: they may be uneducated and unkempt but they are NOT bad people or parents, and the show is as entertaining as honey boo boo is sweet.