The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: "Auld Lang Syne For an Eye"

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It's New Year's Eve and The Real Housewives of New Jersey are descending on The Brownstone to celebrate. Will they make it to midnight without a brawl?

Let's check it out in THG's +/- review!

Caroline's still doing her radio show and good for her. Her advice is right on the money. You never know what the new year might bring and don't let bitter people affect your goals. She earns a Plus 10 for the positive message.

But not everyone is taking her advice.

Awesome Play Date

Teresa seems determined to be bitter and mean while Melissa keeps throwing out an olive branch. Did you catch some of those digs she took at Melissa?

When Melissa shares that she's working on an album Teresa shoots back that "Nowadays anybody can be a singer." I'll admit there's some truth in the statement but Ouch! Minus 8 because that doesn't sound like someone looking to bury the hatchet.

And Melissa commenting that Teresa is like Ursula looking to steal her voice just popped a picture into my head. I can just see Teresa snatching Melissa's voice and then running through the house gleefully cackling. Plus 7 for the imaginary fun.

Then when Teresa talks about her new family cookbook, Melissa offers one of her own recipes and Teresa later snarks, "We all know that bitch doesn't cook." Minus another 10. Teresa's claws are definitely out and hoping to find blood.

How many animals were harmed in the making of those children's clothes? I know, I know. They weren't real (at least I hope not) but I don't think I've ever seen so many tiny little animal prints before. Plus 5 because I simply found it funny to look at but Minus 7 for Miania wearing the leopard print boots with the 3-inch heel. She's four years old. Talk about trying to ruin her feet early. That they even make those is completely ridiculous.

Ashley, Ashley, Ashley. Every week I dislike this girl a little more. She has loving parents and grandparents that want nothing but the best for her. Even cousin Lauren is trying to give her an opportunity but all Ashley can do is whine that she doesn't like deadlines.  This kid is nothing but a stupid, spoiled little girl. Minus 15 because she can't even comprehend how privileged she is. Who wants to see Ashley flipping burgers to pay her bills?

I'd love to see Chris and Jacqueline throw Ashley out on her disrespectful butt but I know it won't happen. My guess is she'll move out when she finds some equally stupid but gullible guy to take care of her.

On to the New Year's Eve party. The Brownstone looks like it throws a heck of a private party for the New Year. Plus 9

Professional Makeup

Why is it that none of these women ever do their own makeup? Do they look that bad that they all need professional help? And with a bankruptcy looming you'd think that's an expense that could be cut, but that's just me.

Does it seem as though the world revolves around Teresa? At least she seems to think so. She's irritated that Caroline invited Kathy. Minus 5. Honey, it's not your party. If you don't like it, don't go.

She thinks that Rich's teasing is a come on, although I'll admit that I find Rich kind of creepy. Then she believes that her cookbooks are what inspired Kathy to pursue cooking. Seriously. Talk about delusional. Minus 8. I'd bet Kathy's been cooking her entire life and starting a catering business has more to do with her kids being older and looking for a challenge than it has anything to do with Mrs. Guidice and her books.

Did you catch Joe feeling up Teresa at the party. Eww. Feeling up your wife's breasts in a public place, not cool. Minus 7.

Yet again Melissa came off as the voice of reason. Go figure. This is turning into a trend. Plus 15 for making sure the kids get together, putting up with Teresa's sarcastic comments and even inviting her on vacation.

In the end, Caroline is right. Melissa and Kathy keep trying to pull the family together and Teresa keeps slamming the door on them. So who is the bad guy in this?

EPISODE TOTAL: -14. SEASON TOTAL: -87.

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@Dorothy K - Shame on you for posting that Teresa's children are ugly, that's just down right mean, what kind of a person does that. Everyone has their opinions but you don't post something like that. How would you like it if someone posted that about your kids or someone you love. Just a suggestion to you, Dorothy K, get a dictionary and look up the word "empathy" and practice it because it may be of help to you. I personally think the kids are cute, they seem a little spoiled but they are kids (4 of them, yeah it's gonna be a little chaotic) and we only see what the camera shows us. So we should not judge. Just sayin! I love watching RHONJ, my fav show.

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I don't think Theresa's children are ugly but i think that they're behavior makes them unattractive-there is a difference. No mention of joe guidice calling joe gorga di-kface? really? or of ashley trying to get the brownstone's licqour license pulled by getting her cousin chris to make her underaged behind an alcoholic drink? Really? Am I the only one who saw these things?

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Instead of getting in a snit about criticism of the Giudice brats,Tammy should spend her time on some spelling ('their', not
'there' which refers to place or position) & English lessons. That would have the potential to be helpful in life. Especially if trying to keep or apply for a job other than one in a hamburger joint or car wash.

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Tammy, I am sorry that you don't agree with [Dorothy K] about Tereas kids. You can't say her kids are attractive and well behavior. Bexcause what Dorothy K said is true they are unattractive and spoiled brats. What Terease and hubby need to stay home and take care of her spoil kids.

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Although I love the writing, really no mention or subtraction of points for Melissas contradictions? Thought she had let things go? Try staying out of your SIL's battles then, even if they are with your friend/cousin-in-law who you gladly paired-up with to have someone "in-family" onboard in your "tear-up" Taresa campaign. I mean she's on a show rubbing her nose in everything ugly during a difficult time all season long & now she plays "peacemaker" while playing Taresa like a fiddle in the family drama Taresa would have rather not aired. It is clear, despite Melissas great PR, she does not have her husbands family's relationship status or well-being as a true concern. She self-promotes & deceives everyone intentionally to benefit one person- herself!

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What gives u Dorothy K. to call somebody's children ugly? What if someone called ur kids ugly if u have any. U may have a problem with there mother but leave the children out of it.That is very disrespectful.Didn't ur mother teach u better?

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Teresa must be the dumbest woman on earth, no class what so ever. cansomeone please get rid of her and put her out of her misery/ I have never seen such ugly children, they look more like their father every week. When ever she opens her mouth, garbage and insanity comes out, It s really time for a change, she is boring and laughable, there must be someone in New Jersey that has half a brain. same old same old. I will not be watching this attempt at reality any longer. Please bring bethenny back. Laughing in california.

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