• Lindsay Lohan, Meryl Streep, and Lily Tomlin are all no-shows for Robert Altman‘s lifetime achievement Oscar celebration. Robin Williams went, though … mostly for the open bar. [NYT]
• Sob your hearts out, well, everyone. We want to not love Chad Michael Murray, but we can’t help it. And now, he’s freakin’ engaged. [People]
• Naomi Campbell, fresh from beating the crap out of her assistant, is in South Africa with none other than Nelson Mandela. [Fox]
• Maybe George Clooney and Lindsay Lohan really are made for each other. She should go for the “we both like to show our bare asses” angle next time she hits on him. [A Socialite’s Life]
• We have a feeling Kevin Costner actually paid this dude to steal his laptop, just so he could get his name back in the news. [AP]
• The American College of Radiology is worried about Tom Cruise‘s purchase of a home ultrasound machine. While Tom wants to be able to administer sonograms on Katie Holmes whenever he wants, the experts say the fetus could, quite possibly, end up more screwed up than it already will be by default. [E! First Look]
• Just when Time Inc. hands over the reigns to John Huey, now they’re talking about moving their HQ to – dear god – Parsippany, New Jersey. Pay attention: that’s outside New York, despite their brainwashing staffers with promises of a cafeteria and health club. MSNBC has both of those and that doesn’t take the blight out of Secaucus. [NYP]
• Say goodbye to Mr. Six, the spooky octegenarian mascot of Six Flags. Now that Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder has taken over the theme park, expect more kid-friendly cartoon icons. [NYP]
• It’s time to leave Kevin Federline alone. After all, who else would stare at his baby on the cover of People while leaving his wife to take the spotlight? [Zap2It]
• Oprah: Addicted to meth, today on the freeway. [WOW Report]
• Kevin Costner wants $8 million for a movie that was never made under an agreement that was never put on paper. [AP]
• Like an editor at Details, CBS is enjoying a turn on top. It’s set to win November sweeps by three million viewers “because the other broadcast networks barely put up a fight.” [WaPo]
• Join hands tonight at Rockefeller Center, where the only Christmas tree that matters will be lit with Al Roker and Megan Mullally on hand. A 550-pound star made up of 25,000 Swarovski crystals will adorn the top, but only because Paris Hilton‘s old engagement ring is stashed away in a lockbox. [NY1]