Attention, Lindsay Lohan: Call Grandma!

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The paternal grandmother of Lindsay Lohan has a message for her broken-hearted relative:

I'm so glad this happened because now I can get paid to give an interview!

No, wait. This is it:

"We'd all like to reach out to her," Marilyn told People. "We're all here for her and we'd love to see her. Me, as a grandmother, I'd like to try and help her out, but she's not here, she's in L.A."

The woman who gave birth to the demonic Michael Lohan blames the night life - that was clearly forced upon Lindsay - for her woes.

"What happened is that it was too much too fast. And she was on her own too early. She was too young," Marilyn  said. "And they get into that party scene. It's very hard for them.

In conclusion, what's Marilyn's message for her granddaughter?

 "I love her, call me, I'm here for her, and anything I can do, please get in touch."

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