Nicolas Cage is a vampire and a photo from 1870 offers irrefutable proof…or so says Jack_Mord, who is auctioning the photo on eBay for $1,000,000 – a real bargain for such fantastic evidence that the undead not only roam the earth, but have planted themselves smack dab in Hollywood where they can be captured on film for more evidence when they reinvent themselves in the next century.
The seller, who collects images of dead people from the 1800s, found the photo of a man who lived in Bristol, TN around the time of the Civil War in the back of an album that contained an “unusual number of Civil War era death portraits.” He says all of the other people in the album, living and dead, were identified by name, except this man.
The description in the eBay auction says, “Original c.1870 carte de visite showing a man who looks exactly like Nick Cage. Personally, I believe it’s him and that he is some sort of walking undead / vampire, et cetera, who quickens / reinvents
himself once every 75 years or so. 150 years from now, he might be a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host.”
Yep, that’s definitely him. No doubt about it. <eye roll>