Bloodies Vince Shlomi

You most likely don't know the name Vince Shlomi. But you know his face and his voice.

Vince is the pitchman behind ShamWow, the awesome dish rag that reportedly can soak up more moisture than six million paper towels combined. As cool as that is, it's not why he's in the news.

In the spring of 2009, Shlomi allegedly hired a stripper, took her back to his room... and then punched her after she bit his tongue and wouldn't let go. He was arrested on felony battery charges.

This may be the funniest story we've ever heard.