Stavros and Paris, Take 17!

What a guy! Stavros Niarchos looks like some goofy ass dude, but he dated Mary-Kate Olsen, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan - the triumverate of pain. That takes serious patience and love of rich, anorexic booty, but hey, if you can tap it, why hold back.

Stavros Niarchos is officially listed as "a professional kiteboarder and an heir to a Greek shipping fortune." That's hilarious.

He is also a graduate of USC, so he's not entirely useless and sponging off his family. Only mostly. Sorry, Stavros Niarchos III.