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Gwyneth Paltrow Gets Dumped, Hangs With Taylor Swift
When Gwyneth Paltrow ends a relationship, she doesn't drown her sorrows in a bottle of pinot grigio or a pint of Ben & Jerry's. No, that's peasant stuff.
Gwyneth "consciously uncouples" from her victims exes and then becomes their BFF in order to keep them from ever getting laid again make sure the experience is as healthy as possible for everyone involved.
Gwyneth Paltrow: Planning Couples' Vacation With ...
As you've probably heard, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin "consciously uncoupled" last year, proving to all the world that they can turn even something as common as a divorce into an exercise in elitist, pseudo-intellectual douche-baggery.
Martin began dating Jennifer Lawrence, a move that's earned him the nickname Chris "Upgrade" Martin (as of right now).
Gwyneth Paltrow Shares Photo of Lookalike Daughter
Generally, when Gwyneth Paltrow is in the news, it's hard to finish reading the story.
Her unique brand of privileged, new age, pseudo-scientific mumbo-jumbo has been known to cause involuntary eye-rolling, which can make it hard to focus on the latest news of Gwyneth steaming her vagina.
Watch British Stars Do Menial Jobs for Red Nose Day
Gwyneth Paltrow Believes in Exercise, Having Sex
Gwyneth Paltrow may have recently failed the food stamp challenge, but the 42-year old is totally receiving a passing grade for her bikini body these days.
Just take a look at the actress on the June issue of Women's Health:
The Most Beautiful Women, 2000-2015: From Julia to Sandra
Earlier today, Sandra Bullock was named the Most Beautiful Woman in the world.
The 50-year old Oscar winner said herself that the honor is patently "ridiculous," but we can think of a handful of famous females who would disagree with that assessment.
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin: Officially Divorced!
After more than a year of spewing "conscious uncoupling" psycho-babble and openly banging other people, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are officially divorced.
Gwyneth Paltrow Admits She Failed the Food Stamp Challenge
Earlier this week, Gwyneth Paltrow stopped steaming her vagina long enough to take part in the Food Stamp Challenge.
Though it's been derided as "poverty tourism" (which it kind of is), the Challenge is designed to raise awareness of the recent devastating cuts made to programs like SNAP and the meager allowance on which low-income families are forced to survive.
Gwyneth Paltrow Ditches Food Stamp Challenge AGAIN!
Earlier this week, Gwyneth Paltrow accepted the Food Stamp Challenge and was caught going out to eat at a swanky LA restaurant les than 48 hours after tweeting a photo of the food she supposedly planned to live off for an entire week.
Paltrow was already accused of belittling the plight of food insecure families by engaging in "poverty tourism" and publicly patting herself on the back for showing the world what $29 worth of food looks like. (As though the world didn't already know.)