There's TMI - and then there's whatever this is, which has us sticking a length of wire into our ears, hoping to spear the memory of Dean McDermott's latest comments so that it might be extracted and studied in a lab.
(Ed. note: Don't try that at home.)
Pretty much every time we talk about them these days, we feel the need to mention the fact that Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott are broke.
It's not that we're fixated on the couple's income, it's just that their diminished finances seem to factor into every decision they make.
Faking sick. When you're a kid it's a marvelous strategy that can get you out of everything from household chores to algebra tests.
But one of the many, many things that sucks about being an adult is that whether you're faking it or you've actually been laid low by illness, you're still expected to keep your appointments and meet your obligations.
No one likes online trolls.
But unfortunately, it's something our favorite, and not so favorite, celebrities face frequently.
Dean McDermott has already admitted to his regrets about thinking with his penis.
Now, he's reaching way back to 2011, when he accidentally posted a photo of his wife's bare breasts for the entire world to see.
Dean McDermott is many things:
Broke. Annoying. Desperate for attention.
Tori Spelling can be tough to defend.
At times, it seems like the actress/reality star/grifter goes out of her way to be unlikable.
These are hard times in the Spelling household.
In fact, it seems that not a week goes by without some new report about Tori Spelling's financial woes.
Money can't buy happiness.
But, when it comes to Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott we might have an exception.
It's still January, but it's already been a rough year for Tori Spelling.
Of course, that's been true for Tori just about every year for the past decade or so.
Dean McDermott is truly aghast at the moment.
He's nauseated.
Over the past couple years, much of the media's focus on Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott has had to do with the couple's financial woes -- and with good reason.
In case you weren't already aware, these mo fos are broke.
It looks like Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott are finally saving their marriage through a healthy sense of perspective and counseling.
Unfortunately, a happier home life does not mean that they won't get beset by internet trolls.
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott have not had the easiest time in recent years, and their relationship has paid the price.
The good news is that Tori and Dean are finally fixing their marriage -- and it's made a world of difference.
Rumors about Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott getting divorced have been circulating since ... well, about the time that the troubled couple got married.
But this time around, it seems Dean has actually taken steps toward bringing an end to what might be Hollywood's most dysfunctional marriage.
Even though that their marriage seems to be one long rough patch, Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott are still together after 12 years.
This despite the fact that Dean's been caught cheating on multiple occasions and the two of them don't even really seem to like each other.
Whether fans believe it or not, Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott are still married. In fact, they recently celebrated their anniversary, vacationing together to "reconnect."
But apparently, it still wasn't enough to mend their broken marriage.
Back in March of 2017, Tori Spelling welcomed her fifth child.
Fans were somewhat surprised by Spelling's decision to expand her family, not only because she's 44 years old, but because her extreme financial difficulties have been well-documented in recent years.
If you pay attention to the sad wreckage that is their lives, then you're probably aware that Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott are not exactly killing it financially at the moment.
In fact, they're pretty much flat broke.
It looks like there's hope for those fans who hope that Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott are actually fixing their marriage.
Despite their recent troubles -- which have included 911 calls and serious concerns -- the two are making the effort to reconnect.
In the aftermath of Tori Spelling's breakdown, things have looked worse and worse for the actress and her husband, Dean McDermott.
Their family members have reached out to the couple in this time of crisis, and apparently Tori and Dean have both accepted that they need to get help.
Marital problems? Divorce rumors? 911 calls and fear of mental illness?
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott apparently have a response to many of these rumors making their way around the Internet, and that response is this...
As previously reported, the police have been called on Tori Spelling on two separate occasions over the last two weeks.
But while the actress is very possibly dealing with some kind of mental breakdown, a new report suggests that she and husband Dean McDermott may want to place a phone call to someone else...
