Stop us if you've heard this before:
A D-list celebrity is about to star in a movie/reality show/release a book. She needs to garner publicity for it. Suddently, rumors of a sex tape pop up. The celebrity plays ignorant, only to eventually fess up to the video, cite it as a mistake and watch her Q-rating soar.
Carrie Prejean is a hypocritical idiot. That's as nicely as we can put it.
Remember how the deposed Miss California claimed those pesky nude photos from her modeling days weren't meant to topless, and "the wind" was responsible?
Okay, not really. This is obviously a complete joke, but it's a funny one, and one that may not be stretching the truth all that much if you think about it.
Wednesday, we told you about the Carrie Prejean sex tape, which resulted in the settlement of the beauty queen's lawsuit with Miss California officials.
As THG readers know, we've taken pleasure in mocking Carrie Prejean throughout her ridiculous ordeal with the Miss California pageant.
But even we had grown tired of this story, were happy to report that the two sides reached a settlement this week and were excited to move on to other items, such as the incredible Robsten spread in Harper's Bazaar.
There's been a truce in the contentious world of beauty pageants and bible thumping.
Both Carrie Prejean and the Miss California pageant have withdrawn their lawsuits against one another, leaving the former free to keep the money she accepted for getting breast implants.
The feud between Carrie Prejean and the Miss California Pageant just got a lot... bouncier.
Following the lawsuit filed by Prejean against organization officials for slander, libel, religious discrimination and infliction of emotional distress (it's hard to write that with a straight face), K2 Productions is firing back.
Speaking at the Values Voters Summit in Washington Friday, the former Miss California Carrie Prejean suggested that “God had a plan for me that day” when she voiced her opinion on gay marriage ... during the 2009 Miss USA contest.
Yes. God told her to voice opposition to same sex marriage, at a beauty pageant, on national television. He works in mysterious ways sometimes.
Earlier today, Carrie Prejean actually filed a lawsuit against Miss California pageant officials Keith Lewis and Shanna Moakler.
The attention-starved beauty queen claims this pair discriminated against her religion and caused extreme emotional distress.
According to Carrie Prejean, we now know what Jesus would do.
He'd exploit his religion like Denise Richards exploits her children, ignore the concept of forgiveness and seek as much money and retribution as humanly possible.
Former Miss California Carrie Prejean, who gained great notoriety earlier this year before being dethroned, is known for hurting people when opening her mouth.
But until now, she has inflicted purely emotional duress.
Carrie Prejean has been through so much.
Following a series of nearly naked photos, the beauty queen was forced to expose her skin yet again at the 2009 Miss USA Pageant.
The war of words between the controversial and recently dispatched Miss California, Carrie Prejean, and the organization is becoming a game of legal chicken.
No one's showing signs of blinking, either.
In the wake of her long-awaited dismissal last week, disgraced, former Miss California USA Carrie Prejean has threatened to sue pageant officials for defamation.
Well, the pageant's lawyer fired off a letter to Carrie's lawyer, threatening to sue the 22-year-old lightning rod for what he calls "churlish insolent misbehavior."
Carrie Prejean did not attend an event for the Special Olympics this weekend because she feared it would be awkward, now that she's no longer Miss California. (Way to put the kids ahead of your personal feelings, Carrie!)
But Hustler has come up with an idea that will make the gay-hating pageant queen feel right at home: an intimate meeting with fellow conservative beauty Sarah Palin.
The state of California is in danger of going bankrupt, while tensions remain high between fans of the Los Angeles Dodgers and fans of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.
But, not to worry Golden Staters, Tami Farrell is on the way!
Hahahaha, Carrie Prejean supporters. Ur so gr8.
Sorry, we're just trying to speak the language of the woman you hold in such high regard, based on a few sentences she uttered.
Carrie Prejean has earned respect, from a certain segment of the population, for speaking her mind.
As you might expect, she's doing so again in the face of today's unexpected firing as Miss California USA.
Even Donald Trump has grown tired of Carrie Prejean.
While Bible thumpers and gay marriage haters continue to stand behind the beauty queen, based on one mumbled response during the Miss USA Pageant, we can officially report that her time has come:
A couple weeks ago, Shanna Moakler resigned her post with the Miss California pageant, citing the lying, manipulative, deceitful ways of winner Carrie Prejean.
Ever since, the former Miss USA champion has faced a mountain of criticism, most referring to her as a hypocrite for calling out Carrie on posing naked. After all, didn't Shanna bare all in Playboy?
The mother of Carrie Prejean might be a lesbian.
Valerie Vetrano tells Star magazine that she and Prejean's mother, Francine Coppola, were involved in a relationship that lasted until the very night Carrie finished second in the Miss USA contest.
With all the controversy surrounding Carrie Prejean, it's easy to forget that the lightning rod did not actually win the Miss USA pageant a couple of weeks ago.
That honor went to Kristen Dalton.
A few facts about Vista, California:
Why are we listing these seemingly random figures? To prove that the area is a heavy Conservative stronghold, and yet...
When Shanna Moakler stood next to Donald Trump at this week's press conference, as he announced the fate of Carrie Prejean, Moakler says she had every intention of remaining on Miss California's side.
But "the turning point for me, I guess, was when I was watching the Today show and she was sitting there continuing to lie," Moakler, who resigned as a pageant official yesterday, told Ryan Seacret this morning. "And it's obvious to everybody that the lying is still going on. I just couldn't stand behind her."
Embattled Miss California Carrie Prejean certainly has her share of critics, but rest assured, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is firmly in her camp.
The 2008 GOP Vice Presidential nominee released a statement last night slamming "the liberal onslaught of malicious attacks" against Prejean, who first ignited controversy for coming out against same-sex marriage at last month's Miss USA pageant.
