Ashlee Simpson: Plastic Surgery Victim of the Year

Ashlee Simpson: Plastic Surgery Victim of the Year

In a desperate effort to remain relevant despite no discernible talent and no reason for living, Ashlee Simpson has systematically transformed her worthless self into a skanked-out, plastic version of Ashlee Simpson. Man, she could definitely be the cover girl for January's Crack Whore Monthly. What a cheap hack. See below.

Posted in: Ashlee Simpson
Nick Lachey Haunted By a Voice From the Past

Nick Lachey Haunted By a Voice From the Past

Nick Lachey is a happy guy these days. He's got a better singing career than he ever had when he was married, and doesn't have to spend time with that half-wit Jessica Simpson either.

But that doesn't mean the memories from his unhappy union aren't lingering. Even as our boy Nick celebrates a joyous occasion - his birthday, as well as the birthday of his new squeeze, the sweet and vastly superior Vanessa Minnillo - he can't help but become enraged and suicidal when certain songs are played over the club's sound system.

Posted in: Nick Lachey
We Heart Boobs (and Simpson Sisters)!

We Heart Boobs (and Simpson Sisters)!

We really do. There's just no denying it. So you can bet your D-cups that you're gonna hear about it when we come across a pair of pictures showcasing some sweet, singing sisters' significant, supple assets. They're both motorboat-worthy, but who wins the cleavage title among Joe Simpson's talentless, yet uber-famous spawn? You be the judge.

Posted in: Jessica Simpson
To Ashlee Simpson: Happy Belated Birthday. Love, THG.

To Ashlee Simpson: Happy Belated Birthday. Love, THG.

With all the news surfacing about Nick Carter cheating on Paris Hilton with her, it's no wonder that we forgot to wish Ashlee Simpson a happy birthday yesterday. But that doesn't make it okay! We apologize for this terrible omission.

Without a doubt, Ashlee Simpson is one of our favorite celebrities. But once in a generation does a person come along who is so unintelligent, so annoying, so useless, so talentless, so utterly devoid of redeeming qualities.

Posted in: Ashlee Simpson

Ashlee Simpson Biography

Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz
Oh, Ashlee Simpson, ye of little worth. She is Jessica's annoying, less hot, talentless, plastic surgery-loving little sister. Woo! Yup,... More »
Born
Birthplace
Dallas, Texas
Full Name
Ashlee Nicole Simpson-Wentz

Ashlee Simpson Quotes

I didn't know I'd be getting married right now, but I'm so happy to be! I'm a lucky girl.

Ashlee Simpson

Do I look like I had 10 cheeseburgers or something?

Ashlee Simpson [avoiding pregnancy questions]